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1 Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll |
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2 |
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3 This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with |
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4 almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or |
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5 re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included |
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6 with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net |
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7 |
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8 |
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9 Title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland |
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10 Illustrated by Arthur Rackham. With a Proem by Austin Dobson |
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11 |
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12 Author: Lewis Carroll |
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13 |
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14 Illustrator: Arthur Rackham |
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15 |
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16 Release Date: May 19, 2009 [EBook #28885] |
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17 |
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18 Language: English |
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19 |
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20 Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 |
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21 |
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22 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND *** |
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23 |
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24 |
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25 |
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26 |
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27 Produced by Jana Srna, Emmy and the Online Distributed |
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28 Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was |
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29 produced from images generously made available by the |
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30 University of Florida Digital Collections.) |
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31 |
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32 |
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33 |
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34 |
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38 |
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39 |
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40 |
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41 |
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42 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND |
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43 |
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44 [Illustration: "Alice"] |
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45 |
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46 [Illustration: |
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47 |
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48 ALICE'S·ADVENTURES |
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49 IN·WONDERLAND |
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50 BY·LEWIS·CARROLL |
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51 ILLUSTRATED·BY |
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52 ARTHUR·RACKHAM |
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53 |
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54 WITH A PROEM BY AUSTIN DOBSON |
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55 |
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56 LONDON·WILLIAM·HEINEMANN |
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57 NEW·YORK·DOUBLEDAY·PAGE·&·Co] |
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58 |
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59 PRINTED IN ENGLAND |
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60 |
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61 _'Tis two score years since CARROLL'S art, |
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62 With topsy-turvy magic, |
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63 Sent ALICE wondering through a part |
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64 Half-comic and half-tragic._ |
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65 |
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66 _Enchanting ALICE! Black-and-white |
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67 Has made your deeds perennial; |
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68 And naught save "Chaos and old Night" |
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69 Can part you now from TENNIEL;_ |
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70 |
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71 _But still you are a Type, and based |
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72 In Truth, like LEAR and HAMLET; |
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73 And Types may be re-draped to taste |
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74 In cloth-of-gold or camlet._ |
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75 |
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76 _Here comes afresh Costumier, then; |
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77 That Taste may gain a wrinkle |
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78 From him who drew with such deft pen |
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79 The rags of RIP VAN WINKLE!_ |
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80 |
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81 _AUSTIN DOBSON._ |
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82 |
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83 |
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84 |
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85 All in the golden afternoon |
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86 Full leisurely we glide; |
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87 For both our oars, with little skill, |
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88 By little arms are plied, |
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89 While little hands make vain pretence |
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90 Our wanderings to guide. |
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91 |
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92 Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour, |
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93 Beneath such dreamy weather, |
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94 To beg a tale of breath too weak |
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95 To stir the tiniest feather! |
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96 Yet what can one poor voice avail |
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97 Against three tongues together? |
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98 |
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99 Imperious Prima flashes forth |
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100 Her edict "to begin it"-- |
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101 In gentler tone Secunda hopes |
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102 "There will be nonsense in it!"-- |
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103 While Tertia interrupts the tale |
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104 Not _more_ than once a minute. |
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105 |
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106 Anon, to sudden silence won, |
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107 In fancy they pursue |
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108 The dream-child moving through a land |
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109 Of wonders wild and new, |
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110 In friendly chat with bird or beast-- |
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111 And half believe it true. |
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112 |
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113 And ever, as the story drained |
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114 The wells of fancy dry. |
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115 And faintly strove that weary one |
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116 To put the subject by, |
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117 "The rest next time--" "It _is_ next time!" |
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118 The happy voices cry. |
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119 |
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120 Thus grew the tale of Wonderland: |
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121 Thus slowly, one by one, |
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122 Its quaint events were hammered out-- |
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123 And now the tale is done, |
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124 And home we steer, a merry crew, |
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125 Beneath the setting sun. |
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126 |
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127 Alice! a childish story take, |
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128 And with a gentle hand |
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129 Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined |
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130 In Memory's mystic band, |
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131 Like pilgrim's wither'd wreath of flowers |
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132 Pluck'd in a far-off land. |
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133 |
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134 |
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135 |
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136 |
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137 CONTENTS |
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138 |
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139 |
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140 PAGE |
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141 |
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142 I. DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE 1 |
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143 |
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144 II. THE POOL OF TEARS 13 |
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145 |
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146 III. A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE 24 |
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147 |
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148 IV. THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL 35 |
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149 |
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150 V. ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR 49 |
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151 |
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152 VI. PIG AND PEPPER 64 |
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153 |
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154 VII. A MAD TEA-PARTY 82 |
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155 |
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156 VIII. THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND 96 |
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157 |
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158 IX. THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY 111 |
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159 |
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160 X. THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE 126 |
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161 |
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162 XI. WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 139 |
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163 |
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164 XII. ALICE'S EVIDENCE 150 |
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165 |
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166 |
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167 |
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168 |
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169 LIST OF THE PLATES |
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170 |
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171 |
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172 _To face page_ |
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173 |
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174 Alice _Frontispiece_ |
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175 |
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176 The Pool of Tears 22 |
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177 |
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178 They all crowded round it panting and |
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179 asking, "But who has won?" 28 |
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180 |
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181 "Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing out |
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182 here?" 36 |
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183 |
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184 Advice from a Caterpillar 50 |
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185 |
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186 An unusually large saucepan flew close |
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187 by it, and very nearly carried it off 70 |
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188 |
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189 It grunted again so violently that she |
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190 looked down into its face in some alarm 74 |
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191 |
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192 A Mad Tea-Party 84 |
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193 |
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194 The Queen turned angrily away from him |
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195 and said to the Knave, "Turn them over" 100 |
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196 |
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197 The Queen never left off quarrelling |
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198 with the other players, and shouting |
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199 "Off with his head!" or, "Off with her |
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200 head!" 116 |
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201 |
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202 The Mock Turtle drew a long breath and |
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203 said, "That's very curious" 132 |
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204 |
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205 Who stole the Tarts? 140 |
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206 |
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207 At this the whole pack rose up into the |
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208 air, and came flying down upon her 158 |
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209 |
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210 |
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211 |
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212 |
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213 CHAPTER I |
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214 |
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215 |
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216 [Sidenote: _Down the Rabbit-Hole_] |
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217 |
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218 ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her |
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219 sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had |
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220 peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or |
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221 conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, |
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222 "without pictures or conversations?" |
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223 |
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224 So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the |
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225 hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid) whether the pleasure of |
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226 making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and |
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227 picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran |
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228 close by her. |
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229 |
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230 There was nothing so _very_ remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it |
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231 so _very_ much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh |
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232 dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" (when she thought it over |
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233 afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, |
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234 but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit |
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235 actually _took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket_, and looked at it, |
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236 and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across |
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237 her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a |
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238 waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with |
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239 curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to |
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240 see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. |
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241 |
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242 In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how |
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243 in the world she was to get out again. |
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244 |
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245 The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then |
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246 dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think |
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247 about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed |
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248 to be a very deep well. |
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249 |
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250 [Illustration] |
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251 |
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252 Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had |
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253 plenty of time as she went down to look about her, and to wonder what |
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254 was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out |
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255 what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she |
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256 looked at the sides of the well and noticed that they were filled with |
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257 cupboards and book-shelves: here and there she saw maps and pictures |
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258 hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she |
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259 passed; it was labelled "ORANGE MARMALADE," but to her disappointment it |
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260 was empty; she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing |
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261 somebody underneath, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as |
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262 she fell past it. |
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263 |
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264 "Well!" thought Alice to herself. "After such a fall as this, I shall |
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265 think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at |
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266 home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top |
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267 of the house!" (Which was very likely true.) |
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268 |
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269 Down, down, down. Would the fall _never_ come to an end? "I wonder how |
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270 many miles I've fallen by this time?" she said aloud. "I must be getting |
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271 somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four |
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272 thousand miles down. I think--" (for, you see, Alice had learnt several |
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273 things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this |
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274 was not a _very_ good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as |
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275 there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it |
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276 over) "--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what |
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277 Latitude or Longitude I've got to?" (Alice had no idea what Latitude |
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278 was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to |
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279 say.) |
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280 |
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281 Presently she began again. "I wonder if I shall fall right _through_ the |
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282 earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with |
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283 their heads downwards! The Antipathies, I think--" (she was rather glad |
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284 there _was_ no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the |
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285 right word) "--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country |
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286 is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?" (and she |
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287 tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy _curtseying_ as you're falling |
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288 through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) "And what an |
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289 ignorant little girl she'll think me! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps |
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290 I shall see it written up somewhere." |
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291 |
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292 Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began |
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293 talking again. "Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!" |
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294 (Dinah was the cat.) "I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at |
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295 tea-time. Dinah, my dear, I wish you were down here with me! There are |
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296 no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's |
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297 very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?" And here |
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298 Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a |
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299 dreamy sort of way, "Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, |
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300 "Do bats eat cats?" for, you see, as she couldn't answer either |
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301 question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she |
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302 was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in |
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303 hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, "Now, Dinah, tell me |
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304 the truth: did you ever eat a bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down |
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305 she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. |
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306 |
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307 Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: |
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308 she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long |
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309 passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. |
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310 There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and |
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311 was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh my ears and |
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312 whiskers, how late it's getting!" She was close behind it when she |
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313 turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found |
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314 herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging |
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315 from the roof. |
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316 |
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317 There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when |
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318 Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every |
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319 door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to |
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320 get out again. |
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321 |
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322 Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid |
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323 glass; there was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first |
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324 idea was that this might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, |
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325 alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at |
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326 any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time |
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327 round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and |
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328 behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the |
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329 little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! |
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330 |
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331 Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not |
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332 much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage |
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333 into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of |
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334 that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and |
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335 those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the |
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336 doorway; "and even if my head would go through," thought poor Alice, "it |
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337 would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could |
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338 shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin." |
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339 For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that |
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340 Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really |
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341 impossible. |
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342 |
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343 There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went |
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344 back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at |
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345 any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this |
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346 time she found a little bottle on it ("which certainly was not here |
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347 before," said Alice,) and tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper |
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348 label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed on it in large |
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349 letters. |
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350 |
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351 It was all very well to say "Drink me," but the wise little Alice was |
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352 not going to do _that_ in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," she said, "and |
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353 see whether it's marked '_poison_' or not;" for she had read several |
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354 nice little stories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by |
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355 wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they _would_ not |
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356 remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a |
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357 red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that, if you |
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358 cut your finger _very_ deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she |
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359 had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked |
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360 "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. |
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361 |
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362 However, this bottle was _not_ marked "poison," so Alice ventured to |
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363 taste it, and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed |
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364 flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, coffee, and |
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365 hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off. |
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366 |
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367 * * * * * |
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368 |
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369 "What a curious feeling!" said Alice. "I must be shutting up like a |
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370 telescope." |
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371 |
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372 And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face |
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373 brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going |
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374 through that little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she |
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375 waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: |
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376 she felt a little nervous about this: "for it might end, you know," said |
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377 Alice to herself, "in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder |
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378 what I should be like then?" And she tried to fancy what the flame of a |
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379 candle looks like after the candle is blown out, for she could not |
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380 remember ever having seen such a thing. |
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381 |
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382 After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going |
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383 into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the |
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384 door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she |
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385 went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach |
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386 it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her |
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387 best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; |
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388 and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing |
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389 sat down and cried. |
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390 |
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391 "Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Alice to herself, |
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392 rather sharply. "I advise you to leave off this minute!" She generally |
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393 gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it), and |
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394 sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her |
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395 eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having |
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396 cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, |
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397 for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. |
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398 "But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend to be two people! |
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399 Why there's hardly enough of me left to make _one_ respectable person!" |
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400 |
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401 Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: |
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402 she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words |
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403 "EAT ME" were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said |
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404 Alice, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it |
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405 makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll |
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406 get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!" |
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407 |
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408 She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, "Which way? Which |
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409 way?" holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was |
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410 growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same |
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411 size; to be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake, |
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412 but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but |
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413 out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid |
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414 for life to go on in the common way. |
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415 |
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416 So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. |
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417 |
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418 * * * * * |
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419 |
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420 |
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421 |
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422 |
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423 CHAPTER II |
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424 |
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425 |
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426 [Sidenote: _Pool of Tears_] |
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427 |
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428 "CURIOUSER and curiouser!" cried Alice (she was so much |
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429 surprised, that for a moment she quite forgot how to speak good |
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430 English); "now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! |
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431 Good-bye, feet!" (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to |
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432 be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). "Oh, my poor |
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433 little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you |
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434 now, dears? I'm sure _I_ sha'n't be able! I shall be a great deal too |
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435 far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you |
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436 can--but I must be kind to them," thought Alice, "or perhaps they won't |
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437 walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of |
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438 boots every Christmas." |
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439 |
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440 And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. "They must |
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441 go by the carrier," she thought; "and how funny it'll seem, sending |
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442 presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look! |
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443 |
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444 Alice's Right Foot, Esq. |
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445 Hearthrug, |
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446 near the Fender, |
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447 (with Alice's love). |
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448 |
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449 Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!" |
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450 |
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451 Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was |
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452 now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little |
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453 golden key and hurried off to the garden door. |
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454 |
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455 Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to |
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456 look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more |
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457 hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. |
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458 |
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459 "You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, "a great girl like |
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460 you" (she might well say this), "to go on crying in this way! Stop this |
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461 moment, I tell you!" But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of |
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462 tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches |
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463 deep and reaching half down the hall. |
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464 |
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465 [Illustration: CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER] |
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466 |
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467 After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and |
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468 she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White |
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469 Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in |
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470 one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great |
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471 hurry, muttering to himself as he came, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! |
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472 Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!" Alice felt so |
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473 desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the |
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474 Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, "If you please, |
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475 sir----" The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and |
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476 the fan, and scurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. |
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477 |
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478 Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she |
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479 kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking! "Dear, dear! How |
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480 queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. |
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481 I wonder if I've been changed during the night? Let me think: _was_ I |
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482 the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember |
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483 feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question |
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484 is, who in the world am I? Ah, _that's_ the great puzzle!" And she began |
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485 thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as |
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486 herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them. |
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487 |
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488 "I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, "for her hair goes in such long |
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489 ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't |
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490 be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a |
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491 very little! Besides, _she's_ she, and _I'm_ I, and--oh dear, how |
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492 puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. |
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493 Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, |
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494 and four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that |
|
495 rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try |
|
496 Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of |
|
497 Rome, and Rome--no, _that's_ all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been |
|
498 changed for Mabel! I'll try and say '_How doth the little----_'" and she |
|
499 crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to |
|
500 repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did |
|
501 not come the same as they used to do:-- |
|
502 |
|
503 "How doth the little crocodile |
|
504 Improve his shining tail, |
|
505 And pour the waters of the Nile |
|
506 On every golden scale! |
|
507 |
|
508 "How cheerfully he seems to grin, |
|
509 How neatly spreads his claws, |
|
510 And welcomes little fishes in, |
|
511 With gently smiling jaws!" |
|
512 |
|
513 "I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor Alice, and her eyes |
|
514 filled with tears again as she went on. "I must be Mabel, after all, and |
|
515 I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to |
|
516 no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've |
|
517 made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no |
|
518 use their putting their heads down and saying, 'Come up again, dear!' I |
|
519 shall only look up and say, 'Who am I then? Tell me that first, and |
|
520 then, if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down |
|
521 here till I'm somebody else'--but, oh dear!" cried Alice with a sudden |
|
522 burst of tears, "I do wish they _would_ put their heads down! I am so |
|
523 _very_ tired of being all alone here!" |
|
524 |
|
525 As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see |
|
526 that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while |
|
527 she was talking. "How _can_ I have done that?" she thought. "I must be |
|
528 growing small again." She got up and went to the table to measure |
|
529 herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now |
|
530 about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found |
|
531 out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped |
|
532 it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. |
|
533 |
|
534 "That _was_ a narrow escape!" said Alice, a good deal frightened at the |
|
535 sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; "and |
|
536 now for the garden!" and she ran with all speed back to the little door: |
|
537 but alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was |
|
538 lying on the glass table as before, "and things are worse than ever," |
|
539 thought the poor child, "for I never was so small as this before, never! |
|
540 And I declare it's too bad, that it is!" |
|
541 |
|
542 As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! |
|
543 she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had |
|
544 somehow fallen into the sea, "and in that case I can go back by |
|
545 railway," she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in |
|
546 her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go |
|
547 to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the |
|
548 sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row |
|
549 of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon |
|
550 made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she |
|
551 was nine feet high. |
|
552 |
|
553 "I wish I hadn't cried so much!" said Alice, as she swam about, trying |
|
554 to find her way out. "I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by |
|
555 being drowned in my own tears! That _will_ be a queer thing, to be sure! |
|
556 However, everything is queer to-day." |
|
557 |
|
558 Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way |
|
559 off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought |
|
560 it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small |
|
561 she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had |
|
562 slipped in like herself. |
|
563 |
|
564 "Would it be of any use now," thought Alice, "to speak to this mouse? |
|
565 Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very |
|
566 likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying." So she |
|
567 began: "O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired |
|
568 of swimming about here, O Mouse!" (Alice thought this must be the right |
|
569 way of speaking to a mouse; she had never done such a thing before, but |
|
570 she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, "A mouse--of |
|
571 a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!") The Mouse looked at her rather |
|
572 inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, |
|
573 but it said nothing. |
|
574 |
|
575 "Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice; "I daresay it's |
|
576 a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror." (For, with all |
|
577 her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago |
|
578 anything had happened.) So she began again: "Où est ma chatte?" which |
|
579 was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a |
|
580 sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. |
|
581 "Oh, I beg your pardon!" cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt |
|
582 the poor animal's feelings. "I quite forgot you didn't like cats." |
|
583 |
|
584 "Not like cats!" cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. "Would |
|
585 _you_ like cats if you were me?" |
|
586 |
|
587 "Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothing tone: "don't be angry |
|
588 about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd |
|
589 take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet |
|
590 thing," Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the |
|
591 pool, "and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and |
|
592 washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's |
|
593 such a capital one for catching mice----oh, I beg your pardon!" cried |
|
594 Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she |
|
595 felt certain it must be really offended. "We won't talk about her any |
|
596 more if you'd rather not." |
|
597 |
|
598 "We, indeed!" cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his |
|
599 tail. "As if _I_ would talk on such a subject! Our family always _hated_ |
|
600 cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!" |
|
601 |
|
602 [Illustration: _The Pool of Tears_] |
|
603 |
|
604 "I won't indeed!" said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of |
|
605 conversation. "Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?" The Mouse did not |
|
606 answer, so Alice went on eagerly: "There is such a nice little dog near |
|
607 our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you |
|
608 know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things |
|
609 when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all |
|
610 sorts of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a |
|
611 farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred |
|
612 pounds! He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!" cried Alice in a |
|
613 sorrowful tone, "I'm afraid I've offended it again!" For the Mouse was |
|
614 swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a |
|
615 commotion in the pool as it went. |
|
616 |
|
617 So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we |
|
618 won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!" |
|
619 |
|
620 When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: |
|
621 its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a |
|
622 low trembling voice, "Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my |
|
623 history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs." |
|
624 |
|
625 It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the |
|
626 birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, |
|
627 a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the |
|
628 way, and the whole party swam to the shore. |
|
629 |
|
630 |
|
631 |
|
632 |
|
633 CHAPTER III |
|
634 |
|
635 |
|
636 [Sidenote: _A Caucus-race and a Long Tale_] |
|
637 |
|
638 THEY were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on |
|
639 the bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur |
|
640 clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. |
|
641 |
|
642 The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a |
|
643 consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural |
|
644 to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had |
|
645 known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the |
|
646 Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, "I am older than |
|
647 you, and must know better;" and this Alice would not allow without |
|
648 knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its |
|
649 age, there was no more to be said. |
|
650 |
|
651 At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, |
|
652 called out "Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! _I'll_ soon make you |
|
653 dry enough!" They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse |
|
654 in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt |
|
655 sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. |
|
656 |
|
657 "Ahem!" said the Mouse with an important air. "Are you all ready? This |
|
658 is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! 'William |
|
659 the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted |
|
660 to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much |
|
661 accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of |
|
662 Mercia and Northumbria--'" |
|
663 |
|
664 "Ugh!" said the Lory, with a shiver. |
|
665 |
|
666 "I beg your pardon!" said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely. "Did |
|
667 you speak?" |
|
668 |
|
669 "Not I!" said the Lory hastily. |
|
670 |
|
671 "I thought you did," said the Mouse, "--I proceed. 'Edwin and Morcar, |
|
672 the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even |
|
673 Stigand, the patriotic Archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--'" |
|
674 |
|
675 "Found _what_?" said the Duck. |
|
676 |
|
677 "Found _it_," the Mouse replied rather crossly: "of course you know what |
|
678 'it' means." |
|
679 |
|
680 "I know what 'it' means well enough, when _I_ find a thing," said the |
|
681 Duck; "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the |
|
682 archbishop find?" |
|
683 |
|
684 The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, "'--found |
|
685 it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the |
|
686 crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his |
|
687 Normans--' How are you getting on now, my dear?" it continued, turning |
|
688 to Alice as it spoke. |
|
689 |
|
690 "As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone; "doesn't seem to dry |
|
691 me at all." |
|
692 |
|
693 "In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, "I move that |
|
694 the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic |
|
695 remedies----" |
|
696 |
|
697 "Speak English!" said the Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half |
|
698 those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!" And |
|
699 the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds |
|
700 tittered audibly. |
|
701 |
|
702 "What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an offended tone, "was that |
|
703 the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race." |
|
704 |
|
705 "What _is_ a Caucus-race?" said Alice; not that she much wanted to know, |
|
706 but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that _somebody_ ought to speak, |
|
707 and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. |
|
708 |
|
709 "Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is to do it." (And, as |
|
710 you might like to try the thing yourself some winter day, I will tell |
|
711 you how the Dodo managed it.) |
|
712 |
|
713 First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ("the exact |
|
714 shape doesn't matter," it said,) and then all the party were placed |
|
715 along the course, here and there. There was no "One, two, three, and |
|
716 away," but they began running when they liked, and left off when they |
|
717 liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, |
|
718 when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, |
|
719 the Dodo suddenly called "The race is over!" and they all crowded round |
|
720 it, panting, and asking "But who has won?" |
|
721 |
|
722 This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, |
|
723 and it stood for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead |
|
724 (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of |
|
725 him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said |
|
726 "_Everybody_ has won, and _all_ must have prizes." |
|
727 |
|
728 "But who is to give the prizes?" quite a chorus of voices asked. |
|
729 |
|
730 "Why, _she_, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one |
|
731 finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a |
|
732 confused way, "Prizes! Prizes!" |
|
733 |
|
734 Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her |
|
735 pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt water had not |
|
736 got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one |
|
737 apiece all round. |
|
738 |
|
739 _They all crowded round it panting and asking, |
|
740 "But who has won?"_ |
|
741 |
|
742 [Illustration] |
|
743 |
|
744 "But she must have a prize herself, you know," said the Mouse. |
|
745 |
|
746 "Of course," the Dodo replied very gravely. |
|
747 |
|
748 "What else have you got in your pocket?" it went on, turning to Alice. |
|
749 |
|
750 "Only a thimble," said Alice sadly. |
|
751 |
|
752 "Hand it over here," said the Dodo. |
|
753 |
|
754 Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly |
|
755 presented the thimble, saying "We beg your acceptance of this elegant |
|
756 thimble;" and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. |
|
757 |
|
758 Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave |
|
759 that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything |
|
760 to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she |
|
761 could. |
|
762 |
|
763 The next thing was to eat the comfits; this caused some noise and |
|
764 confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste |
|
765 theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. |
|
766 However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and |
|
767 begged the Mouse to tell them something more. |
|
768 |
|
769 "You promised to tell me your history, you know," said Alice, "and why |
|
770 it is you hate--C and D," she added in a whisper, half afraid that it |
|
771 would be offended again. |
|
772 |
|
773 [Illustration] |
|
774 |
|
775 "Mine is a long and sad tale!" said the Mouse, turning to Alice and |
|
776 sighing. |
|
777 |
|
778 "It _is_ a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder |
|
779 at the Mouse's tail; "but why do you call it sad?" And she kept on |
|
780 puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the |
|
781 tale was something like this:-- |
|
782 |
|
783 "Fury said to |
|
784 a mouse, That |
|
785 he met in the |
|
786 house, 'Let |
|
787 us both go |
|
788 to law: _I_ |
|
789 will prose- |
|
790 cute _you_.-- |
|
791 Come, I'll |
|
792 take no de- |
|
793 nial: We |
|
794 must have |
|
795 the trial; |
|
796 For really |
|
797 this morn- |
|
798 ing I've |
|
799 nothing |
|
800 to do.' |
|
801 Said the |
|
802 mouse to |
|
803 the cur, |
|
804 'Such a |
|
805 trial, dear |
|
806 sir, With |
|
807 no jury |
|
808 or judge, |
|
809 would |
|
810 be wast- |
|
811 ing our |
|
812 breath.' |
|
813 'I'll be |
|
814 judge, |
|
815 I'll be |
|
816 jury,' |
|
817 said |
|
818 cun- |
|
819 ning |
|
820 old |
|
821 Fury: |
|
822 'I'll |
|
823 try |
|
824 the |
|
825 whole |
|
826 cause, |
|
827 and |
|
828 con- |
|
829 demn |
|
830 you to |
|
831 death.' |
|
832 |
|
833 "You are not attending!" said the Mouse to Alice severely. "What are you |
|
834 thinking of?" |
|
835 |
|
836 "I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly: "you had got to the fifth |
|
837 bend, I think?" |
|
838 |
|
839 "I had _not_!" cried the Mouse, angrily. |
|
840 |
|
841 "A knot!" said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking |
|
842 anxiously about her. "Oh, do let me help to undo it!" |
|
843 |
|
844 "I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, getting up and walking |
|
845 away. "You insult me by talking such nonsense!" |
|
846 |
|
847 "I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor Alice. "But you're so easily offended, |
|
848 you know!" |
|
849 |
|
850 The Mouse only growled in reply. |
|
851 |
|
852 "Please come back and finish your story!" Alice called after it. And the |
|
853 others all joined in chorus, "Yes, please do!" but the Mouse only shook |
|
854 its head impatiently and walked a little quicker. |
|
855 |
|
856 "What a pity it wouldn't stay!" sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite |
|
857 out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her |
|
858 daughter, "Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose |
|
859 _your_ temper!" "Hold your tongue, Ma!" said the young Crab, a little |
|
860 snappishly. "You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!" |
|
861 |
|
862 "I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!" said Alice aloud, addressing |
|
863 nobody in particular. "She'd soon fetch it back!" |
|
864 |
|
865 "And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?" said the |
|
866 Lory. |
|
867 |
|
868 Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: |
|
869 "Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you |
|
870 ca'n't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, |
|
871 she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!" |
|
872 |
|
873 This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the |
|
874 birds hurried off at once; one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very |
|
875 carefully, remarking "I really must be getting home; the night-air |
|
876 doesn't suit my throat!" and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to |
|
877 its children "Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!" |
|
878 On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. |
|
879 |
|
880 "I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!" she said to herself in a melancholy |
|
881 tone. "Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best |
|
882 cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you |
|
883 any more!" And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very |
|
884 lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a |
|
885 little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up |
|
886 eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming |
|
887 back to finish his story. |
|
888 |
|
889 |
|
890 |
|
891 |
|
892 CHAPTER IV |
|
893 |
|
894 |
|
895 [Sidenote: _The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill_] |
|
896 |
|
897 IT was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and |
|
898 looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she |
|
899 heard it muttering to itself, "The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear |
|
900 paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets |
|
901 are ferrets! Where _can_ I have dropped them, I wonder?" Alice guessed |
|
902 in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid |
|
903 gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but |
|
904 they were nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since |
|
905 her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the |
|
906 little door, had vanished completely. |
|
907 |
|
908 Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and |
|
909 called out to her in an angry tone, "Why, Mary Ann, what _are_ you |
|
910 doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and |
|
911 a fan! Quick, now!" And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at |
|
912 once in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the |
|
913 mistake it had made. |
|
914 |
|
915 "He took me for his housemaid," she said to herself as she ran. "How |
|
916 surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him |
|
917 his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them." As she said this, she |
|
918 came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass |
|
919 plate with the name "W. RABBIT" engraved upon it. She went in without |
|
920 knocking, and hurried up stairs, in great fear lest she should meet the |
|
921 real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the |
|
922 fan and gloves. |
|
923 |
|
924 [Illustration: "_Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here?_"] |
|
925 |
|
926 "How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, "to be going messages for a |
|
927 rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!" And she |
|
928 began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: "'Miss Alice! Come |
|
929 here directly, and get ready for your walk!' 'Coming in a minute, nurse! |
|
930 But I've got to watch this mouse-hole till Dinah comes back, and see |
|
931 that the mouse doesn't get out.' Only I don't think," Alice went on, |
|
932 "that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people |
|
933 about like that!" |
|
934 |
|
935 By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table |
|
936 in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs |
|
937 of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, |
|
938 and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little |
|
939 bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time |
|
940 with the words "DRINK ME," but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it |
|
941 to her lips. "I know _something_ interesting is sure to happen," she |
|
942 said to herself, "whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see |
|
943 what this bottle does. I do hope it will make me grow large again, for |
|
944 really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!" |
|
945 |
|
946 It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had |
|
947 drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, |
|
948 and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put |
|
949 down the bottle, saying to herself "That's quite enough--I hope I |
|
950 sha'n't grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish |
|
951 I hadn't drunk quite so much!" |
|
952 |
|
953 Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, |
|
954 and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there |
|
955 was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with |
|
956 one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. |
|
957 Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out |
|
958 of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself "Now I |
|
959 can do no more, whatever happens. What _will_ become of me?" |
|
960 |
|
961 Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, |
|
962 and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there |
|
963 seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room |
|
964 again, no wonder she felt unhappy. |
|
965 |
|
966 "It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor Alice, "when one wasn't |
|
967 always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and |
|
968 rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and |
|
969 yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do |
|
970 wonder what _can_ have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, |
|
971 I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the |
|
972 middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there |
|
973 ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now," she |
|
974 added in a sorrowful tone; "at least there's no room to grow up any more |
|
975 _here_." |
|
976 |
|
977 "But then," thought Alice, "shall I _never_ get any older than I am now? |
|
978 That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but |
|
979 then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like _that_!" |
|
980 |
|
981 "Oh, you foolish Alice!" she answered herself. "How can you learn |
|
982 lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for _you_, and no room at all |
|
983 for any lesson-books!" |
|
984 |
|
985 And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making |
|
986 quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard |
|
987 a voice outside, and stopped to listen. |
|
988 |
|
989 "Mary Ann! Mary Ann!" said the voice. "Fetch me my gloves this moment!" |
|
990 Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was |
|
991 the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the |
|
992 house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large |
|
993 as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. |
|
994 |
|
995 Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as |
|
996 the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, |
|
997 that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself "Then I'll |
|
998 go round and get in at the window." |
|
999 |
|
1000 "_That_ you won't" thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied |
|
1001 she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her |
|
1002 hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, |
|
1003 but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, |
|
1004 from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a |
|
1005 cucumber-frame, or something of the sort. |
|
1006 |
|
1007 Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--"Pat! Pat! Where are you?" And |
|
1008 then a voice she had never heard before, "Sure then I'm here! Digging |
|
1009 for apples, yer honour!" |
|
1010 |
|
1011 "Digging for apples, indeed!" said the Rabbit angrily. "Here! Come and |
|
1012 help me out of _this_!" (Sounds of more broken glass.) |
|
1013 |
|
1014 "Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?" |
|
1015 |
|
1016 "Sure, it's an arm, yer honour." (He pronounced it "arrum.") |
|
1017 |
|
1018 "An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole |
|
1019 window!" |
|
1020 |
|
1021 "Sure, it does, yer honour? but it's an arm for all that." |
|
1022 |
|
1023 "Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!" |
|
1024 |
|
1025 There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers |
|
1026 now and then; such as, "Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at |
|
1027 all!" "Do as I tell you, you coward!" and at last she spread out her |
|
1028 hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were |
|
1029 _two_ little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. "What a number of |
|
1030 cucumber-frames there must be!" thought Alice. "I wonder what they'll do |
|
1031 next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they _could_! |
|
1032 I'm sure _I_ don't want to stay in here any longer!" |
|
1033 |
|
1034 She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a |
|
1035 rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many voices all |
|
1036 talking together: she made out the words: "Where's the other |
|
1037 ladder?--Why I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! |
|
1038 Fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em |
|
1039 together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll do |
|
1040 well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this |
|
1041 rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! |
|
1042 Heads below!" (a loud crash)--"Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I |
|
1043 fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, _I_ sha'n't! _You_ do |
|
1044 it!--_That_ I won't, then! Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master |
|
1045 says you've to go down the chimney!" |
|
1046 |
|
1047 "Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?" said Alice to |
|
1048 herself. "Why, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in |
|
1049 Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but |
|
1050 I _think_ I can kick a little!" |
|
1051 |
|
1052 She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till |
|
1053 she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) |
|
1054 scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, |
|
1055 saying to herself "This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick, and waited to |
|
1056 see what would happen next. |
|
1057 |
|
1058 The first thing she heard was a general chorus of "There goes Bill!" |
|
1059 then the Rabbit's voice alone--"Catch him, you by the hedge!" then |
|
1060 silence, and then another confusion of voices--"Hold up his head--Brandy |
|
1061 now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell |
|
1062 us all about it!" |
|
1063 |
|
1064 At last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ("That's Bill," thought |
|
1065 Alice,) "Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm |
|
1066 a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me |
|
1067 like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!" |
|
1068 |
|
1069 "So you did, old fellow!" said the others. |
|
1070 |
|
1071 "We must burn the house down!" said the Rabbit's voice. And Alice |
|
1072 called out as loud as she could, "If you do, I'll set Dinah at you!" |
|
1073 |
|
1074 There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself "I |
|
1075 wonder what they _will_ do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the |
|
1076 roof off." After a minute or two they began moving about again, and |
|
1077 Alice heard the Rabbit say "A barrowful will do, to begin with." |
|
1078 |
|
1079 "A barrowful of _what_?" thought Alice. But she had not long to doubt, |
|
1080 for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the |
|
1081 window, and some of them hit her in the face. "I'll put a stop to this," |
|
1082 she said to herself, and shouted out "You'd better not do that again!" |
|
1083 which produced another dead silence. |
|
1084 |
|
1085 Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into |
|
1086 little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her |
|
1087 head. "If I eat one of these cakes," she thought, "it's sure to make |
|
1088 _some_ change in my size; and, as it can't possibly make me larger, it |
|
1089 must make me smaller, I suppose." |
|
1090 |
|
1091 So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she |
|
1092 began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through |
|
1093 the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little |
|
1094 animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in |
|
1095 the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it |
|
1096 something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she |
|
1097 appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself |
|
1098 safe in a thick wood. |
|
1099 |
|
1100 "The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to herself, as she wandered |
|
1101 about in the wood, "is to grow to my right size again; and the second |
|
1102 thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be |
|
1103 the best plan." |
|
1104 |
|
1105 It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply |
|
1106 arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea |
|
1107 how to set about it; and, while she was peering about anxiously among |
|
1108 the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a |
|
1109 great hurry. |
|
1110 |
|
1111 An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and |
|
1112 feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. "Poor little |
|
1113 thing!" said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to |
|
1114 it; but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it |
|
1115 might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in |
|
1116 spite of all her coaxing. |
|
1117 |
|
1118 Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and |
|
1119 held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off |
|
1120 all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, |
|
1121 and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, |
|
1122 to keep herself from being run over; and, the moment she appeared on the |
|
1123 other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head |
|
1124 over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was |
|
1125 very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every |
|
1126 moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then |
|
1127 the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a little |
|
1128 way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all the |
|
1129 while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its |
|
1130 tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. |
|
1131 |
|
1132 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she |
|
1133 set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and |
|
1134 till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. |
|
1135 |
|
1136 "And yet what a dear little puppy it was!" said Alice, as she leant |
|
1137 against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the |
|
1138 leaves. "I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd |
|
1139 only been the right size to do it! Oh, dear! I'd nearly forgotten that |
|
1140 I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how _is_ it to be managed? I |
|
1141 suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great |
|
1142 question is, what?" |
|
1143 |
|
1144 The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at |
|
1145 the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see anything that |
|
1146 looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. |
|
1147 There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as |
|
1148 herself; and, when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and |
|
1149 behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what |
|
1150 was on the top of it. |
|
1151 |
|
1152 She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the |
|
1153 mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue |
|
1154 caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly |
|
1155 smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of |
|
1156 anything else. |
|
1157 |
|
1158 |
|
1159 |
|
1160 |
|
1161 CHAPTER V |
|
1162 |
|
1163 |
|
1164 [Sidenote: _Advice from a Caterpillar_] |
|
1165 |
|
1166 THE Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some |
|
1167 time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its |
|
1168 mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. |
|
1169 |
|
1170 "Who are _you_?" said the Caterpillar. |
|
1171 |
|
1172 This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, |
|
1173 rather shyly, "I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know who |
|
1174 I _was_ when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed |
|
1175 several times since then." |
|
1176 |
|
1177 "What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar sternly. "Explain |
|
1178 yourself!" |
|
1179 |
|
1180 "I can't explain _myself_, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, "because I'm |
|
1181 not myself, you see." |
|
1182 |
|
1183 "I don't see," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1184 |
|
1185 "I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied very politely, |
|
1186 "for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many |
|
1187 different sizes in a day is very confusing." |
|
1188 |
|
1189 "It isn't," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1190 |
|
1191 "Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," said Alice, "but when you |
|
1192 have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then |
|
1193 after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little |
|
1194 queer, won't you?" |
|
1195 |
|
1196 "Not a bit," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1197 |
|
1198 "Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," said Alice; "all I know |
|
1199 is, it would feel very queer to _me_." |
|
1200 |
|
1201 "You!" said the Caterpillar contemptuously. "Who are _you_?" |
|
1202 |
|
1203 Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. |
|
1204 Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such _very_ |
|
1205 short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, "I think |
|
1206 you ought to tell me who _you_ are, first." |
|
1207 |
|
1208 "Why?" said the Caterpillar. |
|
1209 |
|
1210 [Illustration: _Advice from a Caterpillar_] |
|
1211 |
|
1212 Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any |
|
1213 good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a _very_ |
|
1214 unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. |
|
1215 |
|
1216 "Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. "I've something important |
|
1217 to say!" |
|
1218 |
|
1219 This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. |
|
1220 |
|
1221 "Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1222 |
|
1223 "Is that all?" said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she |
|
1224 could. |
|
1225 |
|
1226 "No," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1227 |
|
1228 Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and |
|
1229 perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some |
|
1230 minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its |
|
1231 arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, "So you think |
|
1232 you're changed, do you?" |
|
1233 |
|
1234 "I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can't remember things as I |
|
1235 used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!" |
|
1236 |
|
1237 "Can't remember _what_ things?" said the Caterpillar. |
|
1238 |
|
1239 "Well, I've tried to say '_How doth the little busy bee_,' but it all |
|
1240 came different!" Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. |
|
1241 |
|
1242 "Repeat '_You are old, Father William_,'" said the Caterpillar. |
|
1243 |
|
1244 Alice folded her hands, and began:-- |
|
1245 |
|
1246 "You are old, Father William," the young man said, |
|
1247 "And your hair has become very white; |
|
1248 And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- |
|
1249 Do you think, at your age, it is right?" |
|
1250 |
|
1251 "In my youth," Father William replied to his son, |
|
1252 "I feared it might injure the brain; |
|
1253 But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, |
|
1254 Why, I do it again and again." |
|
1255 |
|
1256 "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, |
|
1257 And have grown most uncommonly fat; |
|
1258 Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- |
|
1259 Pray, what is the reason of that?" |
|
1260 |
|
1261 "In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, |
|
1262 "I kept all my limbs very supple |
|
1263 By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- |
|
1264 Allow me to sell you a couple?" |
|
1265 |
|
1266 "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak |
|
1267 For anything tougher than suet; |
|
1268 Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- |
|
1269 Pray, how did you manage to do it?" |
|
1270 |
|
1271 "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law |
|
1272 And argued each case with my wife; |
|
1273 And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, |
|
1274 Has lasted the rest of my life." |
|
1275 |
|
1276 "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose |
|
1277 That your eye was as steady as ever; |
|
1278 Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- |
|
1279 What made you so awfully clever?" |
|
1280 |
|
1281 "I have answered three questions, and that is enough," |
|
1282 Said his father; "don't give yourself airs! |
|
1283 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? |
|
1284 Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!" |
|
1285 |
|
1286 "That is not said right," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1287 |
|
1288 "Not _quite_ right, I'm afraid," said Alice, timidly; "some of the |
|
1289 words have got altered." |
|
1290 |
|
1291 "It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Caterpillar, decidedly, |
|
1292 and there was silence for some minutes. |
|
1293 |
|
1294 The Caterpillar was the first to speak. |
|
1295 |
|
1296 "What size do you want to be?" it asked. |
|
1297 |
|
1298 "Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; "only one |
|
1299 doesn't like changing so often, you know." |
|
1300 |
|
1301 "I _don't_ know," said the Caterpillar. |
|
1302 |
|
1303 Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in all her |
|
1304 life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. |
|
1305 |
|
1306 "Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar. |
|
1307 |
|
1308 "Well, I should like to be a _little_ larger, sir, if you wouldn't |
|
1309 mind," said Alice: "three inches is such a wretched height to be." |
|
1310 |
|
1311 "It is a very good height indeed!" said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing |
|
1312 itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). |
|
1313 |
|
1314 "But I'm not used to it!" pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she |
|
1315 thought to herself, "I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily |
|
1316 offended!" |
|
1317 |
|
1318 "You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar; and it put its |
|
1319 hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. |
|
1320 |
|
1321 This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a |
|
1322 minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and |
|
1323 yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the |
|
1324 mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it went, |
|
1325 "One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you |
|
1326 grow shorter." |
|
1327 |
|
1328 "One side of _what_? The other side of _what_?" thought Alice to |
|
1329 herself. |
|
1330 |
|
1331 "Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it |
|
1332 aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. |
|
1333 |
|
1334 Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying |
|
1335 to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly |
|
1336 round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she |
|
1337 stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit |
|
1338 of the edge with each hand. |
|
1339 |
|
1340 "And now which is which?" she said to herself, and nibbled a little of |
|
1341 the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent |
|
1342 blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! |
|
1343 |
|
1344 [Illustration] |
|
1345 |
|
1346 She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt |
|
1347 that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she |
|
1348 set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed |
|
1349 so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open her |
|
1350 mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the |
|
1351 left-hand bit. |
|
1352 |
|
1353 * * * * * |
|
1354 |
|
1355 "Come, my head's free at last!" said Alice in a tone of delight, which |
|
1356 changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders |
|
1357 were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was |
|
1358 an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a |
|
1359 sea of green leaves that lay far below her. |
|
1360 |
|
1361 "What _can_ all that green stuff be?" said Alice. "And where have my |
|
1362 shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I ca'n't see you?" |
|
1363 She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, |
|
1364 except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. |
|
1365 |
|
1366 As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she |
|
1367 tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her |
|
1368 neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had |
|
1369 just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going |
|
1370 to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops |
|
1371 of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made |
|
1372 her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and |
|
1373 was beating her violently with its wings. |
|
1374 |
|
1375 "Serpent!" screamed the Pigeon. |
|
1376 |
|
1377 "I'm _not_ a serpent!" said Alice indignantly. "Let me alone!" |
|
1378 |
|
1379 "Serpent, I say again!" repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, |
|
1380 and added with a kind of a sob, "I've tried every way, and nothing seems |
|
1381 to suit them!" |
|
1382 |
|
1383 "I haven't the least idea what you're talking about," said Alice. |
|
1384 |
|
1385 "I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried |
|
1386 hedges," the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; "but those |
|
1387 serpents! There's no pleasing them!" |
|
1388 |
|
1389 Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in |
|
1390 saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. |
|
1391 |
|
1392 "As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs," said the Pigeon; |
|
1393 "but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I |
|
1394 haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!" |
|
1395 |
|
1396 "I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, who was beginning to |
|
1397 see its meaning. |
|
1398 |
|
1399 [Illustration] |
|
1400 |
|
1401 "And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," continued the |
|
1402 Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, "and just as I was thinking I |
|
1403 should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from |
|
1404 the sky! Ugh, Serpent!" |
|
1405 |
|
1406 "But I'm _not_ a serpent, I tell you!" said Alice. "I'm a---- I'm a |
|
1407 ----" |
|
1408 |
|
1409 "Well! _What_ are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can see you're trying to |
|
1410 invent something!" |
|
1411 |
|
1412 "I--I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered |
|
1413 the number of changes she had gone through that day. |
|
1414 |
|
1415 "A likely story indeed!" said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest |
|
1416 contempt. "I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never |
|
1417 _one_ with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no |
|
1418 use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never |
|
1419 tasted an egg!" |
|
1420 |
|
1421 "I _have_ tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was a very truthful |
|
1422 child; "but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you |
|
1423 know." |
|
1424 |
|
1425 "I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; "but if they do, why then |
|
1426 they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say." |
|
1427 |
|
1428 This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a |
|
1429 minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, "You're |
|
1430 looking for eggs, I know _that_ well enough; and what does it matter to |
|
1431 me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?" |
|
1432 |
|
1433 "It matters a good deal to _me_," said Alice hastily; "but I'm not |
|
1434 looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want _yours_: |
|
1435 I don't like them raw." |
|
1436 |
|
1437 "Well, be off, then!" said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled |
|
1438 down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as |
|
1439 she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and |
|
1440 every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she |
|
1441 remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and |
|
1442 she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the |
|
1443 other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had |
|
1444 succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. |
|
1445 |
|
1446 It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it |
|
1447 felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, |
|
1448 and began talking to herself, as usual. "Come, there's half my plan done |
|
1449 now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going |
|
1450 to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right |
|
1451 size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how _is_ |
|
1452 that to be done, I wonder?" As she said this, she came suddenly upon an |
|
1453 open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. "Whoever |
|
1454 lives there," thought Alice, "it'll never do to come upon them _this_ |
|
1455 size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!" So she began |
|
1456 nibbling at the right-hand bit again, and did not venture to go near the |
|
1457 house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high. |
|
1458 |
|
1459 |
|
1460 |
|
1461 |
|
1462 CHAPTER VI |
|
1463 |
|
1464 |
|
1465 [Sidenote: _Pig and Pepper_] |
|
1466 |
|
1467 FOR a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and |
|
1468 wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came |
|
1469 running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he |
|
1470 was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have |
|
1471 called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It |
|
1472 was opened by another footman in livery, with a round face and large |
|
1473 eyes like a frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair |
|
1474 that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it |
|
1475 was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. |
|
1476 |
|
1477 The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, |
|
1478 nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, |
|
1479 saying, in a solemn tone, "For the Duchess. An invitation from the |
|
1480 Queen to play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn |
|
1481 tone, only changing the order of the words a little, "From the Queen. An |
|
1482 invitation for the Duchess to play croquet." |
|
1483 |
|
1484 Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. |
|
1485 |
|
1486 Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood |
|
1487 for fear of their hearing her; and, when she next peeped out, the |
|
1488 Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the |
|
1489 door, staring stupidly up into the sky. |
|
1490 |
|
1491 Alice went timidly up to the door and knocked. |
|
1492 |
|
1493 "There's no use in knocking," said the Footman, "and that for two |
|
1494 reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; |
|
1495 secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could |
|
1496 possibly hear you." And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise |
|
1497 going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then |
|
1498 a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. |
|
1499 |
|
1500 "Please, then," said Alice, "how am I to get in?" |
|
1501 |
|
1502 "There might be some sense in your knocking," the Footman went on |
|
1503 without attending to her, "if we had the door between us. For instance, |
|
1504 if you were _inside_, you might knock, and I could let you out, you |
|
1505 know." He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and |
|
1506 this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. "But perhaps he can't help it," |
|
1507 she said to herself: "his eyes are so _very_ nearly at the top of his |
|
1508 head. But at any rate he might answer questions. How am I to get in?" |
|
1509 she repeated aloud. |
|
1510 |
|
1511 "I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, "till to-morrow----" |
|
1512 |
|
1513 At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came |
|
1514 skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, |
|
1515 and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. |
|
1516 |
|
1517 "----or next day, maybe," the Footman continued in the same tone, |
|
1518 exactly as if nothing had happened. |
|
1519 |
|
1520 "How am I to get in?" asked Alice again in a louder tone. |
|
1521 |
|
1522 "_Are_ you to get in at all?" said the Footman. "That's the first |
|
1523 question, you know." |
|
1524 |
|
1525 [Illustration] |
|
1526 |
|
1527 It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. "It's really |
|
1528 dreadful," she muttered to herself, "the way all the creatures argue. |
|
1529 It's enough to drive one crazy!" |
|
1530 |
|
1531 The Footman seemed to consider this a good opportunity for repeating his |
|
1532 remark, with variations. "I shall sit here," he said, "on and off, for |
|
1533 days and days." |
|
1534 |
|
1535 "But what am _I_ to do?" said Alice. |
|
1536 |
|
1537 "Anything you like," said the Footman, and began whistling. |
|
1538 |
|
1539 "Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said Alice desperately: "he's |
|
1540 perfectly idiotic!" And she opened the door and went in. |
|
1541 |
|
1542 The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from |
|
1543 one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in |
|
1544 the middle, nursing a baby, the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring |
|
1545 a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. |
|
1546 |
|
1547 "There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!" Alice said to herself, |
|
1548 as well as she could for sneezing. |
|
1549 |
|
1550 There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed |
|
1551 occasionally; and the baby was sneezing and howling alternately without |
|
1552 a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, |
|
1553 were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and |
|
1554 grinning from ear to ear. |
|
1555 |
|
1556 "Please would you tell me," said Alice a little timidly, for she was not |
|
1557 quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, "why your |
|
1558 cat grins like that?" |
|
1559 |
|
1560 "It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, "and that's why. Pig!" |
|
1561 |
|
1562 She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite |
|
1563 jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, |
|
1564 and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again: |
|
1565 |
|
1566 "I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know |
|
1567 that cats _could_ grin." |
|
1568 |
|
1569 "They all can," said the Duchess; "and most of 'em do." |
|
1570 |
|
1571 "I don't know of any that do," Alice said very politely, feeling quite |
|
1572 pleased to have got into a conversation. |
|
1573 |
|
1574 "You don't know much," said the Duchess; "and that's a fact." |
|
1575 |
|
1576 Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would |
|
1577 be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she |
|
1578 was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the |
|
1579 fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at |
|
1580 the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a |
|
1581 shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of |
|
1582 them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, |
|
1583 that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. |
|
1584 |
|
1585 "Oh, _please_ mind what you're doing!" cried Alice, jumping up and down |
|
1586 in an agony of terror. "Oh, there goes his _precious_ nose"; as an |
|
1587 unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it |
|
1588 off. |
|
1589 |
|
1590 "If everybody minded their own business," the Duchess said in a hoarse |
|
1591 growl, "the world would go round a deal faster than it does." |
|
1592 |
|
1593 [Illustration: _An unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very |
|
1594 nearly carried it off_] |
|
1595 |
|
1596 "Which would _not_ be an advantage," said Alice, who felt very glad to |
|
1597 get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. "Just think |
|
1598 what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth |
|
1599 takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis----" |
|
1600 |
|
1601 "Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chop off her head." |
|
1602 |
|
1603 Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take |
|
1604 the hint; but the cook was busily engaged in stirring the soup, and did |
|
1605 not seem to be listening, so she ventured to go on again: "Twenty-four |
|
1606 hours, I _think_; or is it twelve? I----" |
|
1607 |
|
1608 "Oh, don't bother _me_," said the Duchess; "I never could abide |
|
1609 figures!" And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a |
|
1610 sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at |
|
1611 the end of every line: |
|
1612 |
|
1613 "Speak roughly to your little boy, |
|
1614 And beat him when he sneezes: |
|
1615 He only does it to annoy, |
|
1616 Because he knows it teases." |
|
1617 |
|
1618 CHORUS |
|
1619 |
|
1620 (In which the cook and the baby joined): |
|
1621 "Wow! wow! wow!" |
|
1622 |
|
1623 While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing |
|
1624 the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, |
|
1625 that Alice could hardly hear the words: |
|
1626 |
|
1627 "I speak severely to my boy, |
|
1628 I beat him when he sneezes; |
|
1629 For he can thoroughly enjoy |
|
1630 The pepper when he pleases!" |
|
1631 |
|
1632 CHORUS. |
|
1633 |
|
1634 "Wow! wow! wow!" |
|
1635 |
|
1636 "Here! you may nurse it a bit if you like!" the Duchess said to Alice, |
|
1637 flinging the baby at her as she spoke. "I must go and get ready to play |
|
1638 croquet with the Queen," and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw |
|
1639 a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. |
|
1640 |
|
1641 Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped |
|
1642 little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, "just |
|
1643 like a star-fish," thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting |
|
1644 like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and |
|
1645 straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute |
|
1646 or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. |
|
1647 |
|
1648 As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to |
|
1649 twist it up into a knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and |
|
1650 left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into |
|
1651 the open air. "If I don't take this child away with me," thought Alice, |
|
1652 "they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave |
|
1653 it behind?" She said the last words out loud, and the little thing |
|
1654 grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). "Don't grunt," |
|
1655 said Alice; "that's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself." |
|
1656 |
|
1657 The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to |
|
1658 see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a |
|
1659 _very_ turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its |
|
1660 eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not |
|
1661 like the look of the thing at all. "But perhaps it was only sobbing," |
|
1662 she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any |
|
1663 tears. |
|
1664 |
|
1665 No, there were no tears. "If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear," |
|
1666 said Alice, seriously, "I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind |
|
1667 now!" The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible |
|
1668 to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. |
|
1669 |
|
1670 Alice was just beginning to think to herself, "Now, what am I to do with |
|
1671 this creature when I get it home?" when it grunted again, so violently, |
|
1672 that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could |
|
1673 be _no_ mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and |
|
1674 she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it any further. |
|
1675 |
|
1676 So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it |
|
1677 trot quietly away into the wood. "If it had grown up," she said to |
|
1678 herself, "it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes |
|
1679 rather a handsome pig, I think." And she began thinking over other |
|
1680 children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying |
|
1681 to herself, "if one only knew the right way to change them----" when she |
|
1682 was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a |
|
1683 tree a few yards off. |
|
1684 |
|
1685 [Illustration: _It grunted again so violently that she looked down into |
|
1686 its face in some alarm_] |
|
1687 |
|
1688 The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she |
|
1689 thought: still it had _very_ long claws and a great many teeth, so she |
|
1690 felt that it ought to be treated with respect. |
|
1691 |
|
1692 [Illustration] |
|
1693 |
|
1694 "Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know |
|
1695 whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. |
|
1696 "Come, it's pleased so far," thought Alice, and she went on. "Would you |
|
1697 tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" |
|
1698 |
|
1699 "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat. |
|
1700 |
|
1701 "I don't much care where----" said Alice. |
|
1702 |
|
1703 "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat. |
|
1704 |
|
1705 "---- so long as I get _somewhere_," Alice added as an explanation. |
|
1706 |
|
1707 "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long |
|
1708 enough." |
|
1709 |
|
1710 Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. |
|
1711 "What sort of people live about here?" |
|
1712 |
|
1713 "In _that_ direction," the Cat said, waving its right paw round, "lives |
|
1714 a Hatter: and in _that_ direction," waving the other paw, "lives a March |
|
1715 Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad." |
|
1716 |
|
1717 "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. |
|
1718 |
|
1719 "Oh, you ca'n't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. |
|
1720 You're mad." |
|
1721 |
|
1722 "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. |
|
1723 |
|
1724 "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." |
|
1725 |
|
1726 Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on. "And how |
|
1727 do you know that you're mad?" |
|
1728 |
|
1729 "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" |
|
1730 |
|
1731 "I suppose so," said Alice. |
|
1732 |
|
1733 "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, |
|
1734 and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now _I_ growl when I'm pleased, and |
|
1735 wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad." |
|
1736 |
|
1737 "_I_ call it purring, not growling," said Alice. |
|
1738 |
|
1739 "Call it what you like," said the Cat. "Do you play croquet with the |
|
1740 Queen to-day?" |
|
1741 |
|
1742 "I should like it very much," said Alice, "but I haven't been invited |
|
1743 yet." |
|
1744 |
|
1745 "You'll see me there," said the Cat and vanished. |
|
1746 |
|
1747 Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer |
|
1748 things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, |
|
1749 it suddenly appeared again. |
|
1750 |
|
1751 "By-the-bye, what became of the baby?" said the Cat. "I'd nearly |
|
1752 forgotten to ask." |
|
1753 |
|
1754 "It turned into a pig," Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back |
|
1755 in a natural way. |
|
1756 |
|
1757 "I thought it would," said the Cat, and vanished again. |
|
1758 |
|
1759 Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not |
|
1760 appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in |
|
1761 which the March Hare was said to live. "I've seen hatters before," she |
|
1762 said to herself; "the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and |
|
1763 perhaps as this is May, it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as |
|
1764 it was in March." As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat |
|
1765 again, sitting on the branch of a tree. |
|
1766 |
|
1767 "Did you say pig, or fig?" said the Cat. |
|
1768 |
|
1769 "I said pig," replied Alice; "and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and |
|
1770 vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy." |
|
1771 |
|
1772 "All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, |
|
1773 beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which |
|
1774 remained some time after the rest of it had gone. |
|
1775 |
|
1776 "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin |
|
1777 without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life." |
|
1778 |
|
1779 [Illustration] |
|
1780 |
|
1781 She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of |
|
1782 the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the |
|
1783 chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It |
|
1784 was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had |
|
1785 nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom, and raised herself, |
|
1786 to about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather |
|
1787 timidly, saying to herself, "Suppose it should be raving mad after all! |
|
1788 I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!" |
|
1789 |
|
1790 |
|
1791 |
|
1792 |
|
1793 CHAPTER VII |
|
1794 |
|
1795 |
|
1796 [Sidenote: _A Mad Tea-party_] |
|
1797 |
|
1798 THERE was a table set out under a tree in front of the |
|
1799 house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a |
|
1800 Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were |
|
1801 using it as a cushion resting their elbows on it, and talking over its |
|
1802 head. "Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse," thought Alice; "only as |
|
1803 it's asleep, suppose it doesn't mind." |
|
1804 |
|
1805 The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at |
|
1806 one corner of it. "No room! No room!" they cried out when they saw Alice |
|
1807 coming. "There's _plenty_ of room!" said Alice indignantly, and she sat |
|
1808 down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. |
|
1809 |
|
1810 "Have some wine," the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. |
|
1811 |
|
1812 Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. |
|
1813 "I don't see any wine," she remarked. |
|
1814 |
|
1815 "There isn't any," said the March Hare. |
|
1816 |
|
1817 "Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said Alice angrily. |
|
1818 |
|
1819 "It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited," said |
|
1820 the March Hare. |
|
1821 |
|
1822 "I didn't know it was _your_ table," said Alice; "it's laid for a great |
|
1823 many more than three." |
|
1824 |
|
1825 "Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice |
|
1826 for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. |
|
1827 |
|
1828 "You should learn not to make personal remarks," Alice said with some |
|
1829 severity; "it's very rude." |
|
1830 |
|
1831 The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he _said_ |
|
1832 was "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" |
|
1833 |
|
1834 "Come, we shall have some fun now!" thought Alice. "I'm glad they've |
|
1835 begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that," she added aloud. |
|
1836 |
|
1837 "Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" said |
|
1838 the March Hare. |
|
1839 |
|
1840 "Exactly so," said Alice. |
|
1841 |
|
1842 "Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. |
|
1843 |
|
1844 "I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least--at least I mean what I |
|
1845 say--that's the same thing, you know." |
|
1846 |
|
1847 "Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "Why, you might just as |
|
1848 well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I |
|
1849 see'!" |
|
1850 |
|
1851 "You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I like what I |
|
1852 get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like'!" |
|
1853 |
|
1854 "You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, which seemed to be |
|
1855 talking in his sleep, "that 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing |
|
1856 as 'I sleep when I breathe'!" |
|
1857 |
|
1858 "It _is_ the same thing with you," said the Hatter; and here the |
|
1859 conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice |
|
1860 thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, |
|
1861 which wasn't much. |
|
1862 |
|
1863 [Illustration: _A Mad Tea Party_] |
|
1864 |
|
1865 The Hatter was the first to break the silence. "What day of the month |
|
1866 is it?" he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his |
|
1867 pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, |
|
1868 and holding it to his ear. |
|
1869 |
|
1870 Alice considered a little, and then said "The fourth." |
|
1871 |
|
1872 "Two days wrong!" sighed the Hatter. "I told you butter would not suit |
|
1873 the works!" he added, looking angrily at the March Hare. |
|
1874 |
|
1875 "It was the _best_ butter," the March Hare meekly replied. |
|
1876 |
|
1877 "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," the Hatter grumbled: |
|
1878 "you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife." |
|
1879 |
|
1880 The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped |
|
1881 it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of |
|
1882 nothing better to say than his first remark, "It was the _best_ butter, |
|
1883 you know." |
|
1884 |
|
1885 Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. "What a |
|
1886 funny watch!" she remarked. "It tells the day of the month, and doesn't |
|
1887 tell what o'clock it is!" |
|
1888 |
|
1889 "Why should it?" muttered the Hatter. "Does _your_ watch tell you what |
|
1890 year it is?" |
|
1891 |
|
1892 "Of course not," Alice replied very readily: "but that's because it |
|
1893 stays the same year for such a long time together." |
|
1894 |
|
1895 "Which is just the case with _mine_," said the Hatter. |
|
1896 |
|
1897 Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no |
|
1898 meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. "I don't quite |
|
1899 understand," she said, as politely as she could. |
|
1900 |
|
1901 "The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hatter, and he poured a little |
|
1902 hot tea upon its nose. |
|
1903 |
|
1904 The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its |
|
1905 eyes, "Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself." |
|
1906 |
|
1907 "Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to Alice |
|
1908 again. |
|
1909 |
|
1910 "No, I give it up," Alice replied: "what's the answer?" |
|
1911 |
|
1912 "I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter. |
|
1913 |
|
1914 "Nor I," said the March Hare. |
|
1915 |
|
1916 Alice sighed wearily. "I think you might do something better with the |
|
1917 time," she said, "than wasting it asking riddles with no answers." |
|
1918 |
|
1919 "If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hatter, "you wouldn't talk |
|
1920 about wasting _it_. It's _him_." |
|
1921 |
|
1922 "I don't know what you mean," said Alice. |
|
1923 |
|
1924 "Of course you don't!" the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. |
|
1925 "I daresay you never spoke to Time!" |
|
1926 |
|
1927 "Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied: "but I know I have to beat time |
|
1928 when I learn music." |
|
1929 |
|
1930 "Ah! that accounts for it," said the Hatter. "He won't stand beating. |
|
1931 Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything |
|
1932 you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in |
|
1933 the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a |
|
1934 hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, |
|
1935 time for dinner!" |
|
1936 |
|
1937 ("I only wish it was," the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) |
|
1938 |
|
1939 "That would be grand, certainly," said Alice thoughtfully: "but then--I |
|
1940 shouldn't be hungry for it, you know." |
|
1941 |
|
1942 "Not at first, perhaps," said the Hatter: "but you could keep it to |
|
1943 half-past one as long as you liked." |
|
1944 |
|
1945 "Is that the way _you_ manage?" Alice asked. |
|
1946 |
|
1947 The Hatter shook his head mournfully. "Not I!" he replied. "We |
|
1948 quarrelled last March----just before _he_ went mad, you know----" |
|
1949 (pointing with his teaspoon to the March Hare), "it was at the great |
|
1950 concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing |
|
1951 |
|
1952 'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! |
|
1953 How I wonder what you're at!' |
|
1954 |
|
1955 You know that song, perhaps?" |
|
1956 |
|
1957 "I've heard something like it," said Alice. |
|
1958 |
|
1959 "It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, "in this way:-- |
|
1960 |
|
1961 'Up above the world you fly, |
|
1962 Like a tea-tray in the sky. |
|
1963 Twinkle, twinkle----'" |
|
1964 |
|
1965 Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep |
|
1966 "_Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle_----" and went on so long that they |
|
1967 had to pinch it to make it stop. |
|
1968 |
|
1969 "Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse," said the Hatter, "when the |
|
1970 Queen jumped up and bawled out 'He's murdering the time! Off with his |
|
1971 head!'" |
|
1972 |
|
1973 "How dreadfully savage!" exclaimed Alice. |
|
1974 |
|
1975 "And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, "he won't |
|
1976 do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now." |
|
1977 |
|
1978 A bright idea came into Alice's head. "Is that the reason so many |
|
1979 tea-things are put out here?" she asked. |
|
1980 |
|
1981 "Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh: "it's always tea-time, |
|
1982 and we've no time to wash the things between whiles." |
|
1983 |
|
1984 "Then you keep moving round, I suppose?" said Alice. |
|
1985 |
|
1986 "Exactly so," said the Hatter: "as the things get used up." |
|
1987 |
|
1988 "But what happens when you come to the beginning again?" Alice ventured |
|
1989 to ask. |
|
1990 |
|
1991 "Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare interrupted, yawning. |
|
1992 "I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story." |
|
1993 |
|
1994 "I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather alarmed at the |
|
1995 proposal. |
|
1996 |
|
1997 "Then the Dormouse shall!" they both cried. "Wake up, Dormouse!" And |
|
1998 they pinched it on both sides at once. |
|
1999 |
|
2000 The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. "I wasn't asleep," he said in a |
|
2001 hoarse, feeble voice: "I heard every word you fellows were saying." |
|
2002 |
|
2003 "Tell us a story!" said the March Hare. |
|
2004 |
|
2005 "Yes, please do!" pleaded Alice. |
|
2006 |
|
2007 "And be quick about it," added the Hatter, "or you'll be asleep again |
|
2008 before it's done." |
|
2009 |
|
2010 "Once upon a time there were three little sisters," the Dormouse began |
|
2011 in a great hurry; "and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and |
|
2012 they lived at the bottom of a well----" |
|
2013 |
|
2014 "What did they live on?" said Alice, who always took a great interest in |
|
2015 questions of eating and drinking. |
|
2016 |
|
2017 "They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or |
|
2018 two. |
|
2019 |
|
2020 "They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice gently remarked; "they'd |
|
2021 have been ill." |
|
2022 |
|
2023 "So they were," said the Dormouse; "_very_ ill." |
|
2024 |
|
2025 Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way |
|
2026 of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: |
|
2027 "But why did they live at the bottom of a well?" |
|
2028 |
|
2029 "Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. |
|
2030 |
|
2031 "I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't |
|
2032 take more." |
|
2033 |
|
2034 "You mean you can't take _less_," said the Hatter; "it's very easy to |
|
2035 take _more_ than nothing." |
|
2036 |
|
2037 "Nobody asked _your_ opinion," said Alice. |
|
2038 |
|
2039 "Who's making personal remarks now?" the Hatter asked triumphantly. |
|
2040 |
|
2041 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to |
|
2042 some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and |
|
2043 repeated her question. "Why did they live at the bottom of a well?" |
|
2044 |
|
2045 The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then |
|
2046 said, "It was a treacle-well." |
|
2047 |
|
2048 "There's no such thing!" Alice was beginning very angrily, but the |
|
2049 Hatter and the March Hare went "Sh! sh!" and the Dormouse sulkily |
|
2050 remarked: "If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for |
|
2051 yourself." |
|
2052 |
|
2053 "No, please go on!" Alice said very humbly. "I won't interrupt you |
|
2054 again. I dare say there may be _one_." |
|
2055 |
|
2056 "One, indeed!" said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to |
|
2057 go on. "And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, |
|
2058 you know----" |
|
2059 |
|
2060 "What did they draw?" said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. |
|
2061 |
|
2062 "Treacle," said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. |
|
2063 |
|
2064 "I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter: "let's all move one place |
|
2065 on." |
|
2066 |
|
2067 He moved as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare |
|
2068 moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the |
|
2069 place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any |
|
2070 advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than |
|
2071 before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. |
|
2072 |
|
2073 Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very |
|
2074 cautiously: "But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle |
|
2075 from?" |
|
2076 |
|
2077 "You can draw water out of a water-well," said the Hatter; "so I should |
|
2078 think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid!" |
|
2079 |
|
2080 "But they were _in_ the well," Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing |
|
2081 to notice this last remark. |
|
2082 |
|
2083 "Of course they were," said the Dormouse; "----well in." |
|
2084 |
|
2085 This answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go on for |
|
2086 some time without interrupting it. |
|
2087 |
|
2088 "They were learning to draw," the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing |
|
2089 its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; "and they drew all manner of |
|
2090 things--everything that begins with an M----" |
|
2091 |
|
2092 "Why with an M?" said Alice. |
|
2093 |
|
2094 "Why not?" said the March Hare. |
|
2095 |
|
2096 Alice was silent. |
|
2097 |
|
2098 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a |
|
2099 dose; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a |
|
2100 little shriek, and went on: "----that begins with an M, such as |
|
2101 mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say |
|
2102 things are 'much of a muchness'--did you ever see such a thing as a |
|
2103 drawing of a muchness?" |
|
2104 |
|
2105 "Really, now you ask me," said Alice, very much confused, "I don't |
|
2106 think----" |
|
2107 |
|
2108 "Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter. |
|
2109 |
|
2110 This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in |
|
2111 great disgust and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and |
|
2112 neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she |
|
2113 looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: |
|
2114 the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into |
|
2115 the teapot. |
|
2116 |
|
2117 "At any rate I'll never go _there_ again!" said Alice as she picked her |
|
2118 way through the wood. "It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all |
|
2119 my life!" |
|
2120 |
|
2121 Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door |
|
2122 leading right into it. "That's very curious!" she thought. "But |
|
2123 everything's curious to-day. I think I may as well go in at once." And |
|
2124 in she went. |
|
2125 |
|
2126 Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little |
|
2127 glass table. "Now I'll manage better this time," she said to herself, |
|
2128 and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that |
|
2129 led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom (she |
|
2130 had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: |
|
2131 then she walked down the little passage: and _then_--she found herself |
|
2132 at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the |
|
2133 cool fountains. |
|
2134 |
|
2135 |
|
2136 |
|
2137 |
|
2138 CHAPTER VIII |
|
2139 |
|
2140 |
|
2141 [Sidenote: _The Queen's Croquet-Ground_] |
|
2142 |
|
2143 A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: |
|
2144 the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at |
|
2145 it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, |
|
2146 and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she |
|
2147 heard one of them say "Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over |
|
2148 me like that!" |
|
2149 |
|
2150 "I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulky tone. "Seven jogged my |
|
2151 elbow." |
|
2152 |
|
2153 On which Seven looked up and said, "That's right, Five! Always lay the |
|
2154 blame on others!" |
|
2155 |
|
2156 "_You'd_ better not talk!" said Five. "I heard the Queen say only |
|
2157 yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!" |
|
2158 |
|
2159 "What for?" said the one who had first spoken. |
|
2160 |
|
2161 "That's none of _your_ business, Two!" said Seven. |
|
2162 |
|
2163 "Yes, it _is_ his business!" said Five. "And I'll tell him--it was for |
|
2164 bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions." |
|
2165 |
|
2166 Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun "Well, of all the unjust |
|
2167 things----" when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood |
|
2168 watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round |
|
2169 also, and all of them bowed low. |
|
2170 |
|
2171 "Would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly, "why you are painting |
|
2172 those roses?" |
|
2173 |
|
2174 Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low |
|
2175 voice, "Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a |
|
2176 _red_ rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen |
|
2177 was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So |
|
2178 you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to----" At this |
|
2179 moment, Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called |
|
2180 out "The Queen! The Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw |
|
2181 themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, |
|
2182 and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. |
|
2183 |
|
2184 First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the |
|
2185 three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the |
|
2186 corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with |
|
2187 diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came |
|
2188 the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came |
|
2189 jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples; they were all ornamented |
|
2190 with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among |
|
2191 them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried, |
|
2192 nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without |
|
2193 noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's |
|
2194 crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and last of all this grand |
|
2195 procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. |
|
2196 |
|
2197 Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face |
|
2198 like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard |
|
2199 of such a rule at processions; "and besides, what would be the use of a |
|
2200 procession," thought she, "if people had to lie down upon their faces, |
|
2201 so that they couldn't see it?" So she stood still where she was, and |
|
2202 waited. |
|
2203 |
|
2204 When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked |
|
2205 at her, and the Queen said severely, "Who is this?" She said it to the |
|
2206 Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. |
|
2207 |
|
2208 "Idiot!" said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and turning to |
|
2209 Alice, she went on, "What's your name, child?" |
|
2210 |
|
2211 "My name is Alice, so please your Majesty," said Alice very politely; |
|
2212 but she added, to herself, "Why, they're only a pack of cards, after |
|
2213 all. I needn't be afraid of them!" |
|
2214 |
|
2215 "And who are _these_?" said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners |
|
2216 who were lying round the rose-tree; for, you see, as they were lying on |
|
2217 their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of |
|
2218 the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, |
|
2219 or courtiers, or three of her own children. |
|
2220 |
|
2221 "How should _I_ know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's |
|
2222 no business of _mine_." |
|
2223 |
|
2224 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a |
|
2225 moment like a wild beast, screamed "Off with her head! Off----" |
|
2226 |
|
2227 "Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was |
|
2228 silent. |
|
2229 |
|
2230 The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said "Consider my dear: |
|
2231 she is only a child!" |
|
2232 |
|
2233 The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave "Turn them |
|
2234 over!" |
|
2235 |
|
2236 The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. |
|
2237 |
|
2238 "Get up!" said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three |
|
2239 gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, |
|
2240 the royal children, and everybody else. |
|
2241 |
|
2242 "Leave off that!" screamed the Queen. "You make me giddy." And then, |
|
2243 turning to the rose-tree, she went on, "What _have_ you been doing |
|
2244 here?" |
|
2245 |
|
2246 "May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a very humble tone, going |
|
2247 down on one knee as he spoke, "we were trying----" |
|
2248 |
|
2249 [Illustration: _The Queen turned angrily away from him and said to the |
|
2250 Knave, "Turn them over"_] |
|
2251 |
|
2252 "_I_ see!" said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. |
|
2253 "Off with their heads!" and the procession moved on, three of the |
|
2254 soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran |
|
2255 to Alice for protection. |
|
2256 |
|
2257 "You shan't be beheaded!" said Alice, and she put them into a large |
|
2258 flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a |
|
2259 minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the |
|
2260 others. |
|
2261 |
|
2262 "Are their heads off?" shouted the Queen. |
|
2263 |
|
2264 "Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!" the soldiers shouted |
|
2265 in reply. |
|
2266 |
|
2267 "That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Can you play croquet?" |
|
2268 |
|
2269 The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was |
|
2270 evidently meant for her. |
|
2271 |
|
2272 "Yes!" shouted Alice. |
|
2273 |
|
2274 "Come on, then!" roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, |
|
2275 wondering very much what would happen next. |
|
2276 |
|
2277 "It's--it's a very fine day!" said a timid voice at her side. She was |
|
2278 walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. |
|
2279 |
|
2280 "Very," said Alice: "----where's the Duchess?" |
|
2281 |
|
2282 "Hush! Hush!" said the Rabbit in a low hurried tone. He looked anxiously |
|
2283 over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put |
|
2284 his mouth close to her ear, and whispered "She's under sentence of |
|
2285 execution." |
|
2286 |
|
2287 "What for?" said Alice. |
|
2288 |
|
2289 "Did you say 'What a pity!'?" the Rabbit asked. |
|
2290 |
|
2291 "No, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at all a pity. I said |
|
2292 'What for?'" |
|
2293 |
|
2294 "She boxed the Queen's ears--" the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little |
|
2295 scream of laughter. "Oh, hush!" the Rabbit whispered in a frightened |
|
2296 tone. "The Queen will hear you! You see she came rather late, and the |
|
2297 Queen said----" |
|
2298 |
|
2299 "Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and |
|
2300 people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each |
|
2301 other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game |
|
2302 began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in |
|
2303 all her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live |
|
2304 hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double |
|
2305 themselves up and to stand upon their hands and feet, to make the |
|
2306 arches. |
|
2307 |
|
2308 [Illustration] |
|
2309 |
|
2310 The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo; |
|
2311 she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under |
|
2312 her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got |
|
2313 its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a |
|
2314 blow with its head, it _would_ twist itself round and look up in her |
|
2315 face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting |
|
2316 out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to |
|
2317 begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had |
|
2318 unrolled itself and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, |
|
2319 there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she wanted |
|
2320 to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always |
|
2321 getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came |
|
2322 to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. |
|
2323 |
|
2324 The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling |
|
2325 all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time |
|
2326 the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and |
|
2327 shouting "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about once in a |
|
2328 minute. |
|
2329 |
|
2330 Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure she had not as yet had any |
|
2331 dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, |
|
2332 "and then," thought she, "what would become of me? They're dreadfully |
|
2333 fond of beheading people here: the great wonder is that there's any one |
|
2334 left alive!" |
|
2335 |
|
2336 She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she |
|
2337 could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious |
|
2338 appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after |
|
2339 watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said |
|
2340 to herself "It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk |
|
2341 to." |
|
2342 |
|
2343 "How are you getting on?" said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth |
|
2344 enough for it to speak with. |
|
2345 |
|
2346 Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. "It's no use |
|
2347 speaking to it," she thought, "till its ears have come, or at least one |
|
2348 of them." In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put |
|
2349 down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad |
|
2350 she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there |
|
2351 was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared. |
|
2352 |
|
2353 "I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice began, in rather a |
|
2354 complaining tone, "and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear |
|
2355 oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at |
|
2356 least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how |
|
2357 confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the |
|
2358 arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the |
|
2359 ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only |
|
2360 it ran away when it saw mine coming!" |
|
2361 |
|
2362 [Illustration] |
|
2363 |
|
2364 "How do you like the Queen?" said the Cat in a low voice. |
|
2365 |
|
2366 "Not at all," said Alice: "she's so extremely----" Just then she noticed |
|
2367 that the Queen was close behind her listening: so she went on, |
|
2368 "----likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game." |
|
2369 |
|
2370 The Queen smiled and passed on. |
|
2371 |
|
2372 "Who _are_ you talking to?" said the King, coming up to Alice, and |
|
2373 looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. |
|
2374 |
|
2375 "It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat," said Alice: "allow me to |
|
2376 introduce it." |
|
2377 |
|
2378 "I don't like the look of it at all," said the King: "however, it may |
|
2379 kiss my hand if it likes." |
|
2380 |
|
2381 "I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. |
|
2382 |
|
2383 "Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and don't look at me like that!" |
|
2384 He got behind Alice as he spoke. |
|
2385 |
|
2386 "A cat may look at a king," said Alice. "I've read that in some book, |
|
2387 but I don't remember where." |
|
2388 |
|
2389 "Well, it must be removed," said the King very decidedly, and he called |
|
2390 to the Queen, who was passing at the moment, "My dear! I wish you would |
|
2391 have this cat removed!" |
|
2392 |
|
2393 The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. |
|
2394 "Off with his head!" she said, without even looking round. |
|
2395 |
|
2396 "I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King eagerly, and he |
|
2397 hurried off. |
|
2398 |
|
2399 Alice thought she might as well go back and see how the game was going |
|
2400 on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with |
|
2401 passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be |
|
2402 executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look of |
|
2403 things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew |
|
2404 whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. |
|
2405 |
|
2406 The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed |
|
2407 to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the |
|
2408 other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the |
|
2409 other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless |
|
2410 sort of way to fly up into one of the trees. |
|
2411 |
|
2412 By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight |
|
2413 was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: "but it doesn't |
|
2414 matter much," thought Alice, "as all the arches are gone from this side |
|
2415 of the ground." So she tucked it under her arm, that it might not escape |
|
2416 again, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend. |
|
2417 |
|
2418 When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a |
|
2419 large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the |
|
2420 executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, |
|
2421 while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. |
|
2422 |
|
2423 The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle |
|
2424 the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they |
|
2425 all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly |
|
2426 what they said. |
|
2427 |
|
2428 [Illustration] |
|
2429 |
|
2430 The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless |
|
2431 there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a |
|
2432 thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at _his_ time of life. |
|
2433 |
|
2434 The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be |
|
2435 beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. |
|
2436 |
|
2437 The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less |
|
2438 than no time, she'd have everybody executed all round. (It was this last |
|
2439 remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) |
|
2440 |
|
2441 Alice could think of nothing else to say but "It belongs to the Duchess: |
|
2442 you'd better ask _her_ about it." |
|
2443 |
|
2444 "She's in prison," the Queen said to the executioner; "fetch her here." |
|
2445 And the executioner went off like an arrow. |
|
2446 |
|
2447 The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and by the time |
|
2448 he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the |
|
2449 King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while |
|
2450 the rest of the party went back to the game. |
|
2451 |
|
2452 |
|
2453 |
|
2454 |
|
2455 CHAPTER IX |
|
2456 |
|
2457 |
|
2458 [Sidenote: _The Mock Turtle's Story_] |
|
2459 |
|
2460 "YOU can't think how glad I am to see you again, you |
|
2461 dear old thing!" said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately |
|
2462 into Alice's, and they walked off together. |
|
2463 |
|
2464 Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought |
|
2465 to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so |
|
2466 savage when they met in the kitchen. |
|
2467 |
|
2468 "When _I'm_ a Duchess," she said to herself (not in a very hopeful tone |
|
2469 though), "I won't have any pepper in my kitchen _at all_. Soup does very |
|
2470 well without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered," |
|
2471 she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, |
|
2472 "and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes them |
|
2473 bitter--and--barley-sugar and such things that make children |
|
2474 sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew _that_: then they wouldn't be |
|
2475 so stingy about it, you know----" |
|
2476 |
|
2477 She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little |
|
2478 startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. "You're thinking |
|
2479 about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't |
|
2480 tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in |
|
2481 a bit." |
|
2482 |
|
2483 "Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark. |
|
2484 |
|
2485 "Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess. "Every thing's got a moral, if only |
|
2486 you can find it." And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as |
|
2487 she spoke. |
|
2488 |
|
2489 Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her: first, because the |
|
2490 Duchess was _very_ ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right |
|
2491 height to rest her chin on Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably |
|
2492 sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well |
|
2493 as she could. "The game's going on rather better now," she said, by way |
|
2494 of keeping up the conversation a little. |
|
2495 |
|
2496 "'Tis so," said the Duchess: "and the moral of that is--'Oh, 'tis love, |
|
2497 'tis love, that makes the world go round!'" |
|
2498 |
|
2499 "Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding |
|
2500 their own business!" |
|
2501 |
|
2502 "Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said the Duchess, digging her |
|
2503 sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, "and the moral of |
|
2504 _that_ is--'Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of |
|
2505 themselves.'" |
|
2506 |
|
2507 "How fond she is of finding morals in things!" Alice thought to herself. |
|
2508 |
|
2509 "I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist," |
|
2510 the Duchess said after a pause: "the reason is, that I'm doubtful about |
|
2511 the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?" |
|
2512 |
|
2513 "He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to |
|
2514 have the experiment tried. |
|
2515 |
|
2516 "Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoes and mustard both bite. And |
|
2517 the moral of that is--'Birds of a feather flock together.'" |
|
2518 |
|
2519 "Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked. |
|
2520 |
|
2521 "Right, as usual," said the Duchess: "what a clear way you have of |
|
2522 putting things!" |
|
2523 |
|
2524 "It's a mineral, I _think_," said Alice. |
|
2525 |
|
2526 "Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to |
|
2527 everything that Alice said: "there's a large mustard-mine near here. And |
|
2528 the moral of that is--'The more there is of mine, the less there is of |
|
2529 yours.'" |
|
2530 |
|
2531 "Oh, I know!" exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark. |
|
2532 "It's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is." |
|
2533 |
|
2534 "I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that |
|
2535 is--'Be what you would seem to be'--or if you'd like it put more |
|
2536 simply--'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might |
|
2537 appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise |
|
2538 than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'" |
|
2539 |
|
2540 "I think I should understand that better," Alice said very politely, "if |
|
2541 I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it." |
|
2542 |
|
2543 "That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the Duchess replied, in |
|
2544 a pleased tone. |
|
2545 |
|
2546 "Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that," said |
|
2547 Alice. |
|
2548 |
|
2549 "Oh, don't talk about trouble!" said the Duchess. "I make you a present |
|
2550 of everything I've said as yet." |
|
2551 |
|
2552 "A cheap sort of present!" thought Alice. "I'm glad they don't give |
|
2553 birthday presents like that!" But she did not venture to say it out |
|
2554 loud. |
|
2555 |
|
2556 "Thinking again?" the Duchess asked with another dig of her sharp little |
|
2557 chin. |
|
2558 |
|
2559 "I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to |
|
2560 feel a little worried. |
|
2561 |
|
2562 "Just about as much right," said the Duchess, "as pigs have to fly; and |
|
2563 the m----" |
|
2564 |
|
2565 But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even |
|
2566 in the middle of her favourite word "moral," and the arm that was linked |
|
2567 into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen |
|
2568 in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm. |
|
2569 |
|
2570 "A fine day, your Majesty!" the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. |
|
2571 |
|
2572 "Now, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen, stamping on the |
|
2573 ground as she spoke; "either you or your head must be off, and that in |
|
2574 about half no time! Take your choice!" |
|
2575 |
|
2576 The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. |
|
2577 |
|
2578 "Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too |
|
2579 much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the |
|
2580 croquet-ground. |
|
2581 |
|
2582 The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were |
|
2583 resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried |
|
2584 back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would |
|
2585 cost them their lives. |
|
2586 |
|
2587 [Illustration: _The Queen never left off quarrelling with the other |
|
2588 players, and shouting "Off with his head!" or, "Off with her head!"_] |
|
2589 |
|
2590 All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with |
|
2591 the other players, and shouting "Off with his head!" or "Off with her |
|
2592 head!" Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, |
|
2593 who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the |
|
2594 end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the |
|
2595 players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and |
|
2596 under sentence of execution. |
|
2597 |
|
2598 Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, "Have |
|
2599 you seen the Mock Turtle yet?" |
|
2600 |
|
2601 "No," said Alice. "I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is." |
|
2602 |
|
2603 "It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from," said the Queen. |
|
2604 |
|
2605 "I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice. |
|
2606 |
|
2607 "Come on then," said the Queen, "and he shall tell you his history." |
|
2608 |
|
2609 As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to |
|
2610 the company generally, "You are all pardoned." "Come, _that's_ a good |
|
2611 thing!" she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the |
|
2612 number of executions the Queen had ordered. |
|
2613 |
|
2614 They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (If |
|
2615 you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) "Up, lazy |
|
2616 thing!" said the Queen, "and take this young lady to see the Mock |
|
2617 Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some |
|
2618 executions I have ordered," and she walked off, leaving Alice alone |
|
2619 with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but |
|
2620 on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to |
|
2621 go after that savage Queen: so she waited. |
|
2622 |
|
2623 The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till |
|
2624 she was out of sight: then it chuckled. "What fun!" said the Gryphon, |
|
2625 half to itself, half to Alice. |
|
2626 |
|
2627 "What _is_ the fun?" said Alice. |
|
2628 |
|
2629 "Why, _she_," said the Gryphon. "It's all her fancy, that: they never |
|
2630 executes nobody, you know. Come on!" |
|
2631 |
|
2632 "Everybody says 'come on!' here," thought Alice, as she went slowly |
|
2633 after it: "I never was so ordered about in my life, never!" |
|
2634 |
|
2635 [Illustration] |
|
2636 |
|
2637 They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, |
|
2638 sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came |
|
2639 nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She |
|
2640 pitied him deeply. "What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gryphon, and the |
|
2641 Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, "It's all |
|
2642 his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!" |
|
2643 |
|
2644 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes |
|
2645 full of tears, but said nothing. |
|
2646 |
|
2647 "This here young lady," said the Gryphon, "she wants to know your |
|
2648 history, she do." |
|
2649 |
|
2650 "I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone; "sit |
|
2651 down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished." |
|
2652 |
|
2653 So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to |
|
2654 herself, "I don't see how he can _ever_ finish, if he doesn't begin." |
|
2655 But she waited patiently. |
|
2656 |
|
2657 "Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, "I was a real |
|
2658 Turtle." |
|
2659 |
|
2660 These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an |
|
2661 occasional exclamation of "Hjckrrh!" from the Gryphon, and the constant |
|
2662 heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and |
|
2663 saying "Thank you, sir, for your interesting story," but she could not |
|
2664 help thinking there _must_ be more to come, so she sat still and said |
|
2665 nothing. |
|
2666 |
|
2667 "When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, |
|
2668 though still sobbing a little now and then, "we went to school in the |
|
2669 sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise----" |
|
2670 |
|
2671 "Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked. |
|
2672 |
|
2673 "We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle |
|
2674 angrily: "really you are very dull!" |
|
2675 |
|
2676 "You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question," |
|
2677 added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor |
|
2678 Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said |
|
2679 to the Mock Turtle, "Drive on, old fellow. Don't be all day about it!" |
|
2680 and he went on in these words: |
|
2681 |
|
2682 "Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it----" |
|
2683 |
|
2684 "I never said I didn't!" interrupted Alice. |
|
2685 |
|
2686 "You did," said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2687 |
|
2688 "Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. |
|
2689 The Mock Turtle went on:-- |
|
2690 |
|
2691 "We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every |
|
2692 day----" |
|
2693 |
|
2694 "_I've_ been to a day-school, too," said Alice; "you needn't be so proud |
|
2695 as all that." |
|
2696 |
|
2697 "With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. |
|
2698 |
|
2699 "Yes," said Alice, "we learned French and music." |
|
2700 |
|
2701 "And washing?" said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2702 |
|
2703 "Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly. |
|
2704 |
|
2705 "Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school," said the Mock Turtle in a |
|
2706 tone of relief. "Now at _ours_ they had at the end of the bill, 'French, |
|
2707 music, _and washing_--extra.'" |
|
2708 |
|
2709 "You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice; "living at the bottom of |
|
2710 the sea." |
|
2711 |
|
2712 "I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. "I |
|
2713 only took the regular course." |
|
2714 |
|
2715 "What was that?" inquired Alice. |
|
2716 |
|
2717 "Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle |
|
2718 replied; "and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, |
|
2719 Distraction, Uglification, and Derision." |
|
2720 |
|
2721 "I never heard of 'Uglification,'" Alice ventured to say. "What is it?" |
|
2722 |
|
2723 The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. "Never heard of |
|
2724 uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know what to beautify is, I suppose?" |
|
2725 |
|
2726 "Yes," said Alice doubtfully: "it means--to--make--anything--prettier." |
|
2727 |
|
2728 "Well, then," the Gryphon went on, "if you don't know what to uglify is, |
|
2729 you are a simpleton." |
|
2730 |
|
2731 Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she |
|
2732 turned to the Mock Turtle and said, "What else had you to learn?" |
|
2733 |
|
2734 "Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the |
|
2735 subjects on his flappers, "--Mystery, ancient and modern, with |
|
2736 Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, |
|
2737 that used to come once a week: _he_ taught us Drawling, Stretching, and |
|
2738 Fainting in Coils." |
|
2739 |
|
2740 "What was _that_ like?" said Alice. |
|
2741 |
|
2742 "Well, I can't show it you myself," the Mock Turtle said: "I'm too |
|
2743 stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it." |
|
2744 |
|
2745 "Hadn't time," said the Gryphon: "I went to the Classical master, |
|
2746 though. He was an old crab, _he_ was." |
|
2747 |
|
2748 "I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: "he taught |
|
2749 Laughing and Grief, they used to say." |
|
2750 |
|
2751 "So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both |
|
2752 creatures hid their faces in their paws. |
|
2753 |
|
2754 "And how many hours a day did you do lessons?" said Alice, in a hurry to |
|
2755 change the subject. |
|
2756 |
|
2757 "Ten hours the first day," said the Mock Turtle: "nine the next, and so |
|
2758 on." |
|
2759 |
|
2760 "What a curious plan!" exclaimed Alice. |
|
2761 |
|
2762 "That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gryphon remarked: |
|
2763 "because they lessen from day to day." |
|
2764 |
|
2765 This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought over it a little |
|
2766 before she made her next remark. "Then the eleventh day must have been a |
|
2767 holiday." |
|
2768 |
|
2769 "Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2770 |
|
2771 "And how did you manage on the twelfth?" Alice went on eagerly. |
|
2772 |
|
2773 "That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided |
|
2774 tone: "tell her something about the games now." |
|
2775 |
|
2776 |
|
2777 |
|
2778 |
|
2779 CHAPTER X |
|
2780 |
|
2781 |
|
2782 [Sidenote: _The Lobster Quadrille_] |
|
2783 |
|
2784 THE Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one |
|
2785 flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but, |
|
2786 for a minute or two, sobs choked his voice. "Same as if he had a bone in |
|
2787 his throat," said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and |
|
2788 punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, |
|
2789 and, with tears running down his cheeks, went on again: |
|
2790 |
|
2791 "You may not have lived much under the sea--" ("I haven't," said Alice) |
|
2792 "and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--" (Alice began |
|
2793 to say "I once tasted----" but checked herself hastily, and said "No, |
|
2794 never") "--so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster |
|
2795 Quadrille is!" |
|
2796 |
|
2797 "No, indeed," said Alice. "What sort of a dance is it?" |
|
2798 |
|
2799 "Why," said the Gryphon, "you first form into a line along the |
|
2800 sea-shore----" |
|
2801 |
|
2802 "Two lines!" cried the Mock Turtle. "Seals, turtles, and so on; then, |
|
2803 when you've cleared the jelly-fish out of the way----" |
|
2804 |
|
2805 "_That_ generally takes some time," interrupted the Gryphon. |
|
2806 |
|
2807 "--you advance twice----" |
|
2808 |
|
2809 "Each with a lobster as a partner!" cried the Gryphon. |
|
2810 |
|
2811 "Of course," the Mock Turtle said: "advance twice, set to partners----" |
|
2812 |
|
2813 "--change lobsters, and retire in same order," continued the Gryphon. |
|
2814 |
|
2815 "Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, "you throw the----" |
|
2816 |
|
2817 "The lobsters!" shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. |
|
2818 |
|
2819 "--as far out to sea as you can----" |
|
2820 |
|
2821 "Swim, after them!" screamed the Gryphon. |
|
2822 |
|
2823 "Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly |
|
2824 about. |
|
2825 |
|
2826 "Change lobsters again!" yelled the Gryphon. |
|
2827 |
|
2828 "Back to land again, and--that's all the first figure," said the Mock |
|
2829 Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been |
|
2830 jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly |
|
2831 and quietly, and looked at Alice. |
|
2832 |
|
2833 "It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice, timidly. |
|
2834 |
|
2835 "Would you like to see a little of it?" said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2836 |
|
2837 "Very much indeed," said Alice. |
|
2838 |
|
2839 "Come, let's try the first figure!" said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. |
|
2840 "We can do it without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?" |
|
2841 |
|
2842 "Oh, _you_ sing," said the Gryphon. "I've forgotten the words." |
|
2843 |
|
2844 So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then |
|
2845 treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their |
|
2846 forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly |
|
2847 and sadly:-- |
|
2848 |
|
2849 "Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail, |
|
2850 "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. |
|
2851 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! |
|
2852 They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance? |
|
2853 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? |
|
2854 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? |
|
2855 |
|
2856 "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be, |
|
2857 When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" |
|
2858 But the snail replied: "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance-- |
|
2859 Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. |
|
2860 Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. |
|
2861 Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. |
|
2862 |
|
2863 "What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied; |
|
2864 "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. |
|
2865 The further off from England the nearer is to France-- |
|
2866 Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. |
|
2867 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? |
|
2868 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?" |
|
2869 |
|
2870 "Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch," said Alice, feeling |
|
2871 very glad that it was over at last: "and I do so like that curious song |
|
2872 about the whiting!" |
|
2873 |
|
2874 "Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, "they--you've seen them, |
|
2875 of course?" |
|
2876 |
|
2877 "Yes," said Alice, "I've often seen them at dinn----" she checked |
|
2878 herself hastily. |
|
2879 |
|
2880 "I don't know where Dinn may be," said the Mock Turtle, "but if you've |
|
2881 seen them so often, of course you know what they're like." |
|
2882 |
|
2883 "I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. "They have their tails in |
|
2884 their mouths--and they're all over crumbs." |
|
2885 |
|
2886 "You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock Turtle: "crumbs would all |
|
2887 wash off in the sea. But they _have_ their tails in their mouths; and |
|
2888 the reason is--" here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. "Tell |
|
2889 her about the reason and all that," he said to the Gryphon. |
|
2890 |
|
2891 "The reason is," said the Gryphon, "that they _would_ go with the |
|
2892 lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to |
|
2893 fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they |
|
2894 couldn't get them out again. That's all." |
|
2895 |
|
2896 "Thank you," said Alice. "It's very interesting. I never knew so much |
|
2897 about a whiting before." |
|
2898 |
|
2899 "I can tell you more than that, if you like," said the Gryphon. "Do you |
|
2900 know why it's called a whiting?" |
|
2901 |
|
2902 "I never thought about it," said Alice. "Why?" |
|
2903 |
|
2904 "_It does the boots and shoes_," the Gryphon replied very solemnly. |
|
2905 |
|
2906 Alice was thoroughly puzzled. "Does the boots and shoes!" she repeated |
|
2907 in a wondering tone. |
|
2908 |
|
2909 "Why, what are _your_ shoes done with?" said the Gryphon. "I mean, what |
|
2910 makes them so shiny?" |
|
2911 |
|
2912 Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her |
|
2913 answer. "They're done with blacking, I believe." |
|
2914 |
|
2915 "Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, |
|
2916 "are done with whiting. Now you know." |
|
2917 |
|
2918 "And what are they made of?" Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. |
|
2919 |
|
2920 "Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: |
|
2921 "any shrimp could have told you that." |
|
2922 |
|
2923 "If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose thoughts were still running |
|
2924 on the song, "I'd have said to the porpoise, 'Keep back, please: we |
|
2925 don't want _you_ with us!'" |
|
2926 |
|
2927 "They were obliged to have him with them," the Mock Turtle said: "no |
|
2928 wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise." |
|
2929 |
|
2930 "Wouldn't it really?" said Alice in a tone of great surprise. |
|
2931 |
|
2932 "Of course not," said the Mock Turtle: "why, if a fish came to _me_, and |
|
2933 told me he was going a journey, I should say, 'With what porpoise?'" |
|
2934 |
|
2935 "Don't you mean 'purpose'?" said Alice. |
|
2936 |
|
2937 "I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And |
|
2938 the Gryphon added, "Come, let's hear some of _your_ adventures." |
|
2939 |
|
2940 [Illustration: _The Mock Turtle drew a long breath and said, "That's |
|
2941 very curious"_] |
|
2942 |
|
2943 "I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning," said |
|
2944 Alice a little timidly: "but it's no use going back to yesterday, |
|
2945 because I was a different person then." |
|
2946 |
|
2947 "Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2948 |
|
2949 "No, no! The adventures first," said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: |
|
2950 "explanations take such a dreadful time." |
|
2951 |
|
2952 So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first |
|
2953 saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, |
|
2954 the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened |
|
2955 their eyes and mouths so _very_ wide, but she gained courage as she went |
|
2956 on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about |
|
2957 her repeating "_You are old, Father William_," to the Caterpillar, and |
|
2958 the words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long |
|
2959 breath, and said, "That's very curious." |
|
2960 |
|
2961 "It's all about as curious as it can be," said the Gryphon. |
|
2962 |
|
2963 "It all came different!" the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. "I |
|
2964 should like to hear her repeat something now. Tell her to begin." He |
|
2965 looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority |
|
2966 over Alice. |
|
2967 |
|
2968 "Stand up and repeat '_'Tis the voice of the sluggard_,'" said the |
|
2969 Gryphon. |
|
2970 |
|
2971 "How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!" |
|
2972 thought Alice. "I might as well be at school at once." However, she got |
|
2973 up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster |
|
2974 Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came |
|
2975 very queer indeed:-- |
|
2976 |
|
2977 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, |
|
2978 'You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.' |
|
2979 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose |
|
2980 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes. |
|
2981 When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, |
|
2982 And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark: |
|
2983 But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, |
|
2984 His voice has a timid and tremulous sound." |
|
2985 |
|
2986 "That's different from what _I_ used to say when I was a child," said |
|
2987 the Gryphon. |
|
2988 |
|
2989 "Well, _I_ never heard it before," said the Mock Turtle: "but it sounds |
|
2990 uncommon nonsense." |
|
2991 |
|
2992 Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, |
|
2993 wondering if anything would _ever_ happen in a natural way again. |
|
2994 |
|
2995 "I should like to have it explained," said the Mock Turtle. |
|
2996 |
|
2997 "She ca'n't explain it," hastily said the Gryphon. "Go on with the next |
|
2998 verse." |
|
2999 |
|
3000 "But about his toes?" the Mock Turtle persisted. "How _could_ he turn |
|
3001 them out with his nose, you know?" |
|
3002 |
|
3003 "It's the first position in dancing," Alice said; but was dreadfully |
|
3004 puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. |
|
3005 |
|
3006 "Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon repeated: "it begins '_I passed |
|
3007 by his garden_.'" |
|
3008 |
|
3009 Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come |
|
3010 wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice: |
|
3011 |
|
3012 "I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, |
|
3013 How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie: |
|
3014 The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, |
|
3015 While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. |
|
3016 When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, |
|
3017 Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: |
|
3018 While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, |
|
3019 And concluded the banquet by----" |
|
3020 |
|
3021 "What _is_ the use of repeating all that stuff," the Mock Turtle |
|
3022 interrupted, "if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most |
|
3023 confusing thing _I_ ever heard!" |
|
3024 |
|
3025 [Illustration] |
|
3026 |
|
3027 "Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the Gryphon: and Alice was |
|
3028 only too glad to do so. |
|
3029 |
|
3030 "Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?" the Gryphon went |
|
3031 on. "Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you another song?" |
|
3032 |
|
3033 "Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind," Alice |
|
3034 replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, |
|
3035 "H'm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her '_Turtle Soup_,' will you, old |
|
3036 fellow?" |
|
3037 |
|
3038 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice choked with sobs, |
|
3039 to sing this:-- |
|
3040 |
|
3041 "Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, |
|
3042 Waiting in a hot tureen! |
|
3043 Who for such dainties would not stoop? |
|
3044 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! |
|
3045 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! |
|
3046 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! |
|
3047 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! |
|
3048 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, |
|
3049 Beautiful, beautiful Soup! |
|
3050 |
|
3051 "Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, |
|
3052 Game, or any other dish? |
|
3053 Who would not give all else for two |
|
3054 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? |
|
3055 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? |
|
3056 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! |
|
3057 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! |
|
3058 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, |
|
3059 Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!" |
|
3060 |
|
3061 "Chorus again!" cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun |
|
3062 to repeat it, when a cry of "The trial's beginning!" was heard in the |
|
3063 distance. |
|
3064 |
|
3065 "Come on!" cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried |
|
3066 off, without waiting for the end of the song. |
|
3067 |
|
3068 "What trial is it?" Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only |
|
3069 answered "Come on!" and ran the faster, while more and more faintly |
|
3070 came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:-- |
|
3071 |
|
3072 "Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, |
|
3073 Beautiful, beautiful Soup!" |
|
3074 |
|
3075 |
|
3076 |
|
3077 |
|
3078 CHAPTER XI |
|
3079 |
|
3080 |
|
3081 [Sidenote: _Who Stole the Tarts?_] |
|
3082 |
|
3083 THE King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne |
|
3084 when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of |
|
3085 little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave |
|
3086 was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to |
|
3087 guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one |
|
3088 hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the |
|
3089 court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so |
|
3090 good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them--"I wish they'd |
|
3091 get the trial done," she thought, "and hand round the refreshments!" But |
|
3092 there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking about her, to |
|
3093 pass away the time. |
|
3094 |
|
3095 Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read |
|
3096 about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the |
|
3097 name of nearly everything there. "That's the judge," she said to |
|
3098 herself, "because of his great wig." |
|
3099 |
|
3100 The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the |
|
3101 wig, he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not |
|
3102 becoming. |
|
3103 |
|
3104 "And that's the jury-box," thought Alice, "and those twelve creatures," |
|
3105 (she was obliged to say "creatures," you see, because some of them were |
|
3106 animals, and some were birds,) "I suppose they are the jurors." She said |
|
3107 this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of |
|
3108 it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her |
|
3109 age knew the meaning of it at all. However, "jurymen" would have done |
|
3110 just as well. |
|
3111 |
|
3112 The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. "What are they |
|
3113 all doing?" Alice whispered to the Gryphon. "They can't have anything to |
|
3114 put down yet, before the trial's begun." |
|
3115 |
|
3116 [Illustration: _Who stole the tarts?_] |
|
3117 |
|
3118 "They're putting down their names," the Gryphon whispered in reply, |
|
3119 "for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial." |
|
3120 |
|
3121 "Stupid things!" Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped |
|
3122 hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out "Silence in the court!" and the |
|
3123 King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to see who was |
|
3124 talking. |
|
3125 |
|
3126 Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, |
|
3127 that all the jurors were writing down "stupid things!" on their slates, |
|
3128 and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell |
|
3129 "stupid," and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. "A nice |
|
3130 muddle their slates will be in before the trial's over!" thought Alice. |
|
3131 |
|
3132 One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This, of course, Alice |
|
3133 could _not_ stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and |
|
3134 very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly |
|
3135 that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out |
|
3136 at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he |
|
3137 was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this |
|
3138 was of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate. |
|
3139 |
|
3140 "Herald, read the accusation!" said the King. |
|
3141 |
|
3142 On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then |
|
3143 unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows: |
|
3144 |
|
3145 "The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, |
|
3146 All on a summer day: |
|
3147 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, |
|
3148 And took them quite away!" |
|
3149 |
|
3150 "Consider your verdict," the King said to the jury. |
|
3151 |
|
3152 "Not yet, not yet!" the Rabbit hastily interrupted. "There's a great |
|
3153 deal to come before that!" |
|
3154 |
|
3155 "Call the first witness," said the King; and the Rabbit blew three |
|
3156 blasts on the trumpet, and called out "First witness!" |
|
3157 |
|
3158 The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand |
|
3159 and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. "I beg pardon, your |
|
3160 Majesty," he began, "for bringing these in; but I hadn't quite finished |
|
3161 my tea when I was sent for." |
|
3162 |
|
3163 "You ought to have finished," said the King. "When did you begin?" |
|
3164 |
|
3165 The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the |
|
3166 court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. "Fourteenth of March, I _think_ it |
|
3167 was," he said. |
|
3168 |
|
3169 "Fifteenth," said the March Hare. |
|
3170 |
|
3171 "Sixteenth," said the Dormouse. |
|
3172 |
|
3173 "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote |
|
3174 down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and |
|
3175 reduced the answer to shillings and pence. |
|
3176 |
|
3177 "Take off your hat," the King said to the Hatter. |
|
3178 |
|
3179 "It isn't mine," said the Hatter. |
|
3180 |
|
3181 "_Stolen!_" the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made |
|
3182 a memorandum of the fact. |
|
3183 |
|
3184 "I keep them to sell," the Hatter added as an explanation: "I've none of |
|
3185 my own. I'm a hatter." |
|
3186 |
|
3187 Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring hard at the |
|
3188 Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. |
|
3189 |
|
3190 "Give your evidence," said the King; "and don't be nervous, or I'll have |
|
3191 you executed on the spot." |
|
3192 |
|
3193 This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from |
|
3194 one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his |
|
3195 confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the |
|
3196 bread-and-butter. |
|
3197 |
|
3198 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled |
|
3199 her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to |
|
3200 grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave |
|
3201 the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as |
|
3202 long as there was room for her. |
|
3203 |
|
3204 "I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the Dormouse, who was sitting |
|
3205 next to her. "I can hardly breathe." |
|
3206 |
|
3207 "I can't help it," said Alice very meekly: "I'm growing." |
|
3208 |
|
3209 "You've no right to grow _here_," said the Dormouse. |
|
3210 |
|
3211 "Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more boldly: "you know you're growing |
|
3212 too." |
|
3213 |
|
3214 "Yes, but _I_ grow at a reasonable pace," said the Dormouse; "not in |
|
3215 that ridiculous fashion." And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to |
|
3216 the other side of the court. |
|
3217 |
|
3218 All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, |
|
3219 just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers |
|
3220 of the court, "Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!" on |
|
3221 which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook off both his shoes. |
|
3222 |
|
3223 "Give your evidence," the King repeated angrily, "or I'll have you |
|
3224 executed, whether you're nervous or not." |
|
3225 |
|
3226 "I'm a poor man, your Majesty," the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, |
|
3227 "--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the |
|
3228 bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea----" |
|
3229 |
|
3230 "The twinkling of _what_?" said the King. |
|
3231 |
|
3232 "It _began_ with the tea," the Hatter replied. |
|
3233 |
|
3234 "Of course twinkling _begins_ with a T!" said the King sharply. "Do you |
|
3235 take me for a dunce? Go on!" |
|
3236 |
|
3237 "I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, "and most things twinkled after |
|
3238 that--only the March Hare said----" |
|
3239 |
|
3240 "I didn't!" the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. |
|
3241 |
|
3242 "You did!" said the Hatter. |
|
3243 |
|
3244 "I deny it!" said the March Hare. |
|
3245 |
|
3246 "He denies it," said the King: "leave out that part." |
|
3247 |
|
3248 "Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said----" the Hatter went on, looking |
|
3249 anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied |
|
3250 nothing, being fast asleep. |
|
3251 |
|
3252 "After that," continued the Hatter, "I cut some more |
|
3253 bread-and-butter----" |
|
3254 |
|
3255 "But what did the Dormouse say?" one of the jury asked. |
|
3256 |
|
3257 "That I can't remember," said the Hatter. |
|
3258 |
|
3259 "You _must_ remember," remarked the King, "or I'll have you executed." |
|
3260 |
|
3261 The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went |
|
3262 down on one knee. "I'm a poor man, your Majesty," he began. |
|
3263 |
|
3264 "You're a _very_ poor _speaker_," said the King. |
|
3265 |
|
3266 Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by |
|
3267 the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just |
|
3268 explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied |
|
3269 up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, |
|
3270 head first, and then sat upon it.) |
|
3271 |
|
3272 "I'm glad I've seen that done," thought Alice. "I've so often read in |
|
3273 the newspapers, at the end of trials, 'There was some attempt at |
|
3274 applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the |
|
3275 court,' and I never understood what it meant till now." |
|
3276 |
|
3277 "If that's all you know about it, you may stand down," continued the |
|
3278 King. |
|
3279 |
|
3280 "I can't go no lower," said the Hatter: "I'm on the floor, as it is." |
|
3281 |
|
3282 "Then you may _sit_ down," the King replied. |
|
3283 |
|
3284 Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. |
|
3285 |
|
3286 "Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs!" thought Alice. "Now we shall get |
|
3287 on better." |
|
3288 |
|
3289 "I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, with an anxious look at |
|
3290 the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. |
|
3291 |
|
3292 "You may go," said the King; and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, |
|
3293 without even waiting to put his shoes on. |
|
3294 |
|
3295 "--and just take his head off outside," the Queen added to one of the |
|
3296 officers; but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get |
|
3297 to the door. |
|
3298 |
|
3299 "Call the next witness!" said the King. |
|
3300 |
|
3301 The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in |
|
3302 her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the |
|
3303 court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. |
|
3304 |
|
3305 "Give your evidence," said the King. |
|
3306 |
|
3307 "Sha'n't," said the cook. |
|
3308 |
|
3309 The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, |
|
3310 "Your Majesty must cross-examine _this_ witness." |
|
3311 |
|
3312 "Well, if I must, I must," the King said with a melancholy air, and, |
|
3313 after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were |
|
3314 nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, "What are tarts made of?" |
|
3315 |
|
3316 "Pepper, mostly," said the cook. |
|
3317 |
|
3318 "Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her. |
|
3319 |
|
3320 "Collar that Dormouse," the Queen shrieked out. "Behead that Dormouse! |
|
3321 Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his |
|
3322 whiskers." |
|
3323 |
|
3324 For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse |
|
3325 turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had |
|
3326 disappeared. |
|
3327 |
|
3328 [Illustration] |
|
3329 |
|
3330 "Never mind!" said the King, with an air of great relief. "Call the next |
|
3331 witness." And he added in an undertone to the Queen, "Really, my dear, |
|
3332 _you_ must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead |
|
3333 ache!" |
|
3334 |
|
3335 Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very |
|
3336 curious to see what the next witness would be like, "--for they haven't |
|
3337 got much evidence _yet_," she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, |
|
3338 when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, |
|
3339 the name "Alice!" |
|
3340 |
|
3341 |
|
3342 |
|
3343 |
|
3344 CHAPTER XII |
|
3345 |
|
3346 |
|
3347 [Sidenote: _Alice's Evidence_] |
|
3348 |
|
3349 "HERE!" cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of |
|
3350 the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she |
|
3351 jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the |
|
3352 edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the |
|
3353 crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much |
|
3354 of a globe of gold-fish she had accidentally upset the week before. |
|
3355 |
|
3356 "Oh, I _beg_ your pardon!" she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and |
|
3357 began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of |
|
3358 the gold-fish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea |
|
3359 that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or |
|
3360 they would die. |
|
3361 |
|
3362 "The trial cannot proceed," said the King in a very grave voice, "until |
|
3363 all the jurymen are back in their proper places--_all_," he repeated |
|
3364 with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so. |
|
3365 |
|
3366 Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put |
|
3367 the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its |
|
3368 tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got |
|
3369 it out again, and put it right; "not that it signifies much," she said |
|
3370 to herself; "I should think it would be _quite_ as much use in the trial |
|
3371 one way up as the other." |
|
3372 |
|
3373 As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being |
|
3374 upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to |
|
3375 them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the |
|
3376 accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do |
|
3377 anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the |
|
3378 court. |
|
3379 |
|
3380 "What do you know about this business?" the King said to Alice. |
|
3381 |
|
3382 "Nothing," said Alice. |
|
3383 |
|
3384 "Nothing _whatever_?" persisted the King. |
|
3385 |
|
3386 "Nothing whatever," said Alice. |
|
3387 |
|
3388 "That's very important," the King said, turning to the jury. They were |
|
3389 just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit |
|
3390 interrupted: "_Un_important, your Majesty means, of course," he said in |
|
3391 a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he |
|
3392 spoke. |
|
3393 |
|
3394 "_Un_important, of course, I meant," the King hastily said, and went on |
|
3395 himself in an undertone,"important--unimportant--unimportant--important----" |
|
3396 as if he were trying which word sounded best. |
|
3397 |
|
3398 Some of the jury wrote it down "important," and some "unimportant." |
|
3399 Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; |
|
3400 "but it doesn't matter a bit," she thought to herself. |
|
3401 |
|
3402 At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in |
|
3403 his note-book, called out "Silence!" and read out from his book, "Rule |
|
3404 Forty-two. _All persons more than a mile high to leave the court._" |
|
3405 |
|
3406 Everybody looked at Alice. |
|
3407 |
|
3408 "_I'm_ not a mile high," said Alice. |
|
3409 |
|
3410 "You are," said the King. |
|
3411 |
|
3412 "Nearly two miles high," added the Queen. |
|
3413 |
|
3414 "Well, I sha'n't go, at any rate," said Alice: "besides, that's not a |
|
3415 regular rule: you invented it just now." |
|
3416 |
|
3417 "It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King. |
|
3418 |
|
3419 "Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice. |
|
3420 |
|
3421 The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. "Consider your |
|
3422 verdict," he said to the jury, in a low trembling voice. |
|
3423 |
|
3424 "There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty," said the White |
|
3425 Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry: "this paper has just been picked |
|
3426 up." |
|
3427 |
|
3428 "What's in it?" said the Queen. |
|
3429 |
|
3430 "I haven't opened it yet," said the White Rabbit, "but it seems to be a |
|
3431 letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody." |
|
3432 |
|
3433 "It must have been that," said the King, "unless it was written to |
|
3434 nobody, which isn't usual, you know." |
|
3435 |
|
3436 "Who is it directed to?" said one of the jurymen. |
|
3437 |
|
3438 "It isn't directed at all," said the White Rabbit; "in fact, there's |
|
3439 nothing written on the _outside_." He unfolded the paper as he spoke, |
|
3440 and added "It isn't a letter after all: it's a set of verses." |
|
3441 |
|
3442 "Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?" asked another of the jurymen. |
|
3443 |
|
3444 "No, they're not," said the White Rabbit, "and that's the queerest thing |
|
3445 about it." (The jury all looked puzzled.) |
|
3446 |
|
3447 "He must have imitated somebody else's hand," said the King. (The jury |
|
3448 all brightened up again.) |
|
3449 |
|
3450 "Please your Majesty," said the Knave, "I didn't write it, and they |
|
3451 can't prove that I did: there's no name signed at the end." |
|
3452 |
|
3453 "If you didn't sign it," said the King, "that only makes the matter |
|
3454 worse. You _must_ have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed |
|
3455 your name like an honest man." |
|
3456 |
|
3457 There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really |
|
3458 clever thing the King had said that day. |
|
3459 |
|
3460 "That _proves_ his guilt, of course," said the Queen: "so, off with----" |
|
3461 |
|
3462 "It doesn't prove anything of the sort!" said Alice. "Why, you don't |
|
3463 even know what they're about!" |
|
3464 |
|
3465 "Read them," said the King. |
|
3466 |
|
3467 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please |
|
3468 your Majesty?" he asked. |
|
3469 |
|
3470 "Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you |
|
3471 come to the end; then stop." |
|
3472 |
|
3473 There was dead silence in the court, whilst the White Rabbit read out |
|
3474 these verses:-- |
|
3475 |
|
3476 "They told me you had been to her, |
|
3477 And mentioned me to him: |
|
3478 She gave me a good character, |
|
3479 But said I could not swim. |
|
3480 |
|
3481 He sent them word I had not gone, |
|
3482 (We know it to be true): |
|
3483 If she should push the matter on, |
|
3484 What would become of you? |
|
3485 |
|
3486 I gave her one, they gave him two, |
|
3487 You gave us three or more; |
|
3488 They all returned from him to you, |
|
3489 Though they were mine before. |
|
3490 |
|
3491 If I or she should chance to be |
|
3492 Involved in this affair, |
|
3493 He trusts to you to set them free, |
|
3494 Exactly as we were. |
|
3495 |
|
3496 My notion was that you had been |
|
3497 (Before she had this fit) |
|
3498 An obstacle that came between |
|
3499 Him, and ourselves, and it. |
|
3500 |
|
3501 Don't let him know she liked them best, |
|
3502 For this must ever be |
|
3503 A secret, kept from all the rest, |
|
3504 Between yourself and me." |
|
3505 |
|
3506 "That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet," said the |
|
3507 King, rubbing his hands; "so now let the jury----" |
|
3508 |
|
3509 "If any of them can explain it," said Alice, (she had grown so large in |
|
3510 the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) |
|
3511 "I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of meaning in |
|
3512 it." |
|
3513 |
|
3514 The jury all wrote down on their slates, "_She_ doesn't believe there's |
|
3515 an atom of meaning in it," but none of them attempted to explain the |
|
3516 paper. |
|
3517 |
|
3518 "If there's no meaning in it," said the King, "that saves a world of |
|
3519 trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't |
|
3520 know," he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at |
|
3521 them with one eye; "I seem to see some meaning in them after all. |
|
3522 '----_said I could not swim_--' you can't swim can you?" he added, |
|
3523 turning to the Knave. |
|
3524 |
|
3525 The Knave shook his head sadly. "Do I look like it?" he said. (Which he |
|
3526 certainly did _not_, being made entirely of cardboard.) |
|
3527 |
|
3528 "All right, so far," said the King, as he went on muttering over the |
|
3529 verses to himself: "'_We know it to be true_--' that's the jury, of |
|
3530 course--'_If she should push the matter on_'--that must be the |
|
3531 Queen--'_What would become of you?_'--What, indeed!--'_I gave her one, |
|
3532 they gave him two_--' why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you |
|
3533 know----" |
|
3534 |
|
3535 "But it goes on '_they all returned from him to you_,'" said Alice. |
|
3536 |
|
3537 "Why, there they are!" said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts |
|
3538 on the table. "Nothing can be clearer than _that_. Then again--'_before |
|
3539 she had this fit_--' you never had _fits_, my dear, I think?" he said to |
|
3540 the Queen. |
|
3541 |
|
3542 "Never!" said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard |
|
3543 as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his |
|
3544 slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily |
|
3545 began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as |
|
3546 it lasted.) |
|
3547 |
|
3548 "Then the words don't _fit_ you," said the King, looking round the court |
|
3549 with a smile. There was a dead silence. |
|
3550 |
|
3551 "It's a pun!" the King added in an angry tone, and everybody laughed. |
|
3552 |
|
3553 "Let the jury consider their verdict," the King said, for about the |
|
3554 twentieth time that day. |
|
3555 |
|
3556 "No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first--verdict afterwards." |
|
3557 |
|
3558 "Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly. "The idea of having the |
|
3559 sentence first!" |
|
3560 |
|
3561 "Hold your tongue!" said the Queen, turning purple. |
|
3562 |
|
3563 "I won't!" said Alice. |
|
3564 |
|
3565 "Off with her head!" the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody |
|
3566 moved. |
|
3567 |
|
3568 "Who cares for _you_?" said Alice (she had grown to her full size by |
|
3569 this time). "You're nothing but a pack of cards!" |
|
3570 |
|
3571 [Illustration: _At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came |
|
3572 flying down upon her_] |
|
3573 |
|
3574 At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon |
|
3575 her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and |
|
3576 tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her |
|
3577 head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead |
|
3578 leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face. |
|
3579 |
|
3580 "Wake up, Alice dear!" said her sister. "Why, what a long sleep you've |
|
3581 had!" |
|
3582 |
|
3583 "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" said Alice, and she told her |
|
3584 sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures |
|
3585 of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had |
|
3586 finished, her sister kissed her, and said "It _was_ a curious dream, |
|
3587 dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late." So |
|
3588 Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, |
|
3589 what a wonderful dream it had been. |
|
3590 |
|
3591 |
|
3592 |
|
3593 |
|
3594 BUT her sister sat still just as she had left her, leaning her head, |
|
3595 watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her |
|
3596 wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and |
|
3597 this was her dream: |
|
3598 |
|
3599 First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny |
|
3600 hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking |
|
3601 up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that |
|
3602 queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that |
|
3603 _would_ always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed |
|
3604 to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange |
|
3605 creatures of her little sister's dream. |
|
3606 |
|
3607 The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the |
|
3608 frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she |
|
3609 could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends |
|
3610 shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen |
|
3611 ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby |
|
3612 was sneezing on the Duchess' knee, while plates and dishes crashed |
|
3613 around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the |
|
3614 Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, |
|
3615 filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock |
|
3616 Turtle. |
|
3617 |
|
3618 So she sat on with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, |
|
3619 though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to |
|
3620 dull reality--the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool |
|
3621 rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would change |
|
3622 to the tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice |
|
3623 of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the |
|
3624 Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the |
|
3625 confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the cattle |
|
3626 in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. |
|
3627 |
|
3628 Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers |
|
3629 would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would |
|
3630 keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her |
|
3631 childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, |
|
3632 and make _their_ eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps |
|
3633 even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel |
|
3634 with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple |
|
3635 joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. |
|
3636 |
|
3637 |
|
3638 THE END |
|
3639 |
|
3640 |
|
3641 |
|
3642 |
|
3643 ILLUSTRATIONS REPRODUCED BY HENTSCHEL COLOURTYPE |
|
3644 TEXT PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE & COMPANY LTD |
|
3645 AT THE BALLANTYNE PRESS |
|
3646 TAVISTOCK STREET |
|
3647 LONDON |
|
3648 |
|
3649 * * * * * |
|
3650 |
|
3651 Transcriber's Notes: |
|
3652 |
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